Alvin Mays:
CLASS OF 1964
Brewer High SchoolClass of 1964
White settlement, TX
Alvin's Story
Basic info:
Gender: Male
Current Location: Friendswood Texas Home town: Friendswood Texas
Children: Boys 3, Girls 0
Grandchildren: Boys 1, Girls 2
Military Service: Marine Corps (1st Battalion 9th Marine Regiment 3rd Marine Division 1968, Khe Sanh)
Favorite school memory: Working with Jo Fowler at Kreamie Kream
Philosophy:
Religious Views: Baptist
Political Views: Conservative
Favorite Quotes:
If you're not a liberal when you're young, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative when you're old, you have no brains.
Education & Work
College: University Of Houston
Class of 1975
Employer: Lockheed
Electronic Engineer • 1972 to 2001 •
Nasa Mission Control Houston
Apollo 17 and all missions to Shuttle STS 100.
Favorites:
Music 60's
Sports: Football
Teams: Cowboys
Activities:
Sailing the Caribbean
Interests:
Teaching Weather Routing for Blue Water crossings
***
Most of us Vietnam Vets never had a chance to tell our high school classmates what we went through over there. I've never discussed the war with either wife or sons. But attending my unit's reunions I've found a tool to document what it was like.
POETRY
Mrs Woodrum would be astonished, I never could memorize poetry; a compulsory task she demanded.
When you first get to Vietnam, the innocent feel guilty; by the end of your tour, the guilty feel nothing.
Al Mays
I'm sitting by my bloody friend watching him as he slowly dies. That cloudy film starts to cover his eyes, then that vacant stare. I have seen this several times before till my friends are no more. The first ones tore out my heart, but this time, I just can't feel any more. Where have my feelings gone? The ones I had before this crazy war. They have just slipped away silently into the jungle mist.
I don't feel afraid, I don't feel alone, all my feelings have just gone. What has caused me to die inside? Where has this evil come from? Where has my innocence gone? This violence doesn't seem to bother some , but it has destroyed both my soul and my mind. I don't talk anymore. I hold everything inside. I can't think past what is happening now.
Some of the men shoot themselves in the foot or cut their arms with c ration openers as if rats had bitten them so they can go to the rear and take rabies shots. I don't hate them because I know I asked for this when I joined up. I just never believed anything could be this bad.
Where have my memories gone? I can't remember my mother or my family. Where has the beauty gone that I used to...Expand for more
see? I now only see blood, filth, and disease. Why can't I see the future instead of the green of these jungle trees?
Where did I lose love? Where did I lose hope? I know it was out here somewhere . I just don't know when or if I will ever regain them again.
I have seen the rain, and I have survived the pain, but I keep looking over my shoulder, and I don't know why. I spend my days searching for answers and my nights in violent dreams.
I hear someone whispering the 23rd Psalm dusty rifle in his trembling hands. I'm shocked and frightened when I realize the sounds are coming from me. This disturbs me beyond anything that words can say. I know that I must stay in control and not let go, or I will surely lose my mind. I've seen the ones that are taken away talking to themselves or screaming, not knowing where they are. Pushed over the edge into the pits where insanity sits.
I gain strength from my prayers and the fear of losing face in front of the men. I pull myself together, choke down the fear and put one foot in front of the other, and march on into the unknown because I have responsibilities to keep. I have a family that makes me fight on even when I don't care about myself. I know I have a duty to survive and make it back home so I can start a family of my own.
My heart's pounding in my ears, I can't hear. Tears and sweat fill my eyes, I can't see. When the battle starts, it opens up with incredible noise, and the dust and cordite choke me, and I hear silent screams. I develop tunnel vision and can only see what's right in front of me.
At first, we throw only grenades so the enemy can't locate our fighting hole, but when they get really close, we open up with our M-16's and kill their bodies, and destroy both our souls. Someone screams 'enemy inside the wire', and anything that shows on the horizon is immediately shot down enemy or not.
Right place at the wrong time, and you won't be going home. I look around the ravaged ground to see who got hit, some with names I don't know others with names I will never forget.
Once the fighting has stopped the darkness, the fear and rain close in. The rain falls everywhere, even in my heart. I pray for the morning sun, but even then, I know that my work won't be done.
All those months that lay ahead fill me with dread. I feel like there is no way to escape this place except by being wounded or being dead. That's when I pray for strength and hope so that I might cope with this evil I see every day.
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