Beverly Summitt:  

Y'all know about my years working undercover as a plus-sized fashion model exposing crime in the world of pinafore. After that, Keanu and I went sailing around the Caribbean for months at a time, stopping on remote islands to collect seashells and to launch flaming bottles of pirate rum out into the sea. Good times. He decided to go make more movies, so I found myself at a loss until I discovered ballroom dancing. You've probably seen me on that show, "Dancing with the Ordinary People." I was pretty good. I won the mirrored Christmas ornament ball trophy three years in a row. That one handsome choreographer kept hitting on me though, so I had to leave the show. (Not because of him; I just developed an allergy to dancing shoes.) However, I bumped into Bruce Willis not long after that (I was looking at my phone), and he had seen me dancing before and asked if I would be in his next movie. I was thrilled to play "Dead Body #2," even if all people ever saw was my feet. I wasn't credited in the movie, but I'm quite sure you would recognize my red toenails. Thus began my acting career. For about two years I played corpses in so many TV shows and movies that I lost count. It was an exciting time. I wasn't paid, but I got to eat all I wanted at the Kraft tables. Realizing that wouldn't pay the bills, I went back to college in my 40s, changed my degree to teaching, because I knew that would pay better than the movies ever would. It's a good thing I had gained a bit of weight eating at Kraft foods, because I needed to be a little bigger than my students to be more intimi...Expand for more