William St.George:  

Hi Yall! The following contains fictitious statements aimed at amusing it's reader.If you know me you do not need this disclaimer. Life, Well, let me get you up to speed. Of course you all remember me as one of the original members of the Village People, a fine group of fellows I like to affectionately refer to as the rough boys (but that's a "hole" other story). Which reminds me! I would like it if the vicious rumors would stop! I know it has been going around that I visited the emergency room to have a marital aid removed from my colon and associated pathways. This is not true. What actually happened was an accident. I had caught a cold and was taking ample amounts of what I assumed to be cough medicine. However, upon further inspection turned out to be liquid morphine. Not again! I scolded myself, as this sort of thing was becoming habit. Needless to say I was feeling very wonderful and industrious. So much so that I decided to strip down bare ass and clean the house. While cleaning the ceiling fan, my toes lost their grip from the top of the banister and I toppled to the dining room table. When I regained consciousness, the next day, I discovered an unbearable pressure, in my nether region. Imagine my surprise when the doctor condemningly presented me with my missing crystal salt shaker. So there it is. It was a salt shaker and my wife and I weren't playing airport security. ...Expand for more