Robert Ellison:
CLASS OF 1965
Oak Harbor High SchoolClass of 1965
Oak harbor, WA
Washington State UniversityClass of 1969
Pullman, WA
Everett Junior CollegeClass of 1968
Everett, WA
Langley High SchoolClass of 1965
Langley, WA
South Whidbey High SchoolClass of 1965
Langley, WA
Robert's Story
Life
1953-1963: Attended Langley grade school, jr. high, and high school, played basketball and baseball, worked as a box boy and finally as the assistant produce manager at Payless Foods in Freeland. I learned to dislike salad but loved food fights.
1957: Bad year for chocolate-covered donuts and pumpkin pie. Overate them, got sick on both of them and would not touch either of them for years to come.
1963-1965: Attended and graduated from Oak Harbor high school, was in Spanish Club, Science Club until I was asked to leave, played baseball, and worked at Bush Point Resort as weekend boathouse manager. This is why I don't own a boat now.
1965-1967: Attended WSU as a GDI, and partied way too hard. I was elected Floor Social Chairman as a Freshman (unheard of until me) for the 4th Floor of my dorm, Gannon Hall. In January, 1967, the Dean of Men personally invited me to his office, gave me 3 days to get off his campus, and told me to never come back until he was dead. This was the year that WSU was ranked 3rd in the nation as a party school by Playboy Magazine and I was asked to leave. I didn't think I did THAT much damage, but his file on me said otherwise. I wish I could have remembered all of what I did. It may have made a fun story. At least I didn't puke on his desk. I do remember having to replace the door to my dorm room because of the burn marks. Worked at Fakkema & Kingma in Oak Harbor for two summers. Learned how to smoke heavily.
1967-1968: Attended Everett Junior (Community) College and decided I was wasting my instructors' and my time, and my money. Earned the nickname "Crazy Bob" and knew it was time to leave town.
1968-1971: Joined the US Army. It was the quickest way out of Everett with no money. Duty stations: Ft. Lewis, WA for Basic Training, Ft. Ord, CA for Radio School, Ft. Gordon, GA for Radio Teletype School, Ft. Lewis, WA as a holdover awaiting shipment to Viet Nam, Cu Chi, Republic of Viet Nam, 25th Infantry Division, and finally Brooke Army Medical Center (hospital), San Antonio, TX because I survived a plane crash in Anchorage, AK the Friday after Thanksgiving 1970, trying to go back to Viet Nam because I felt more at home there than I did back in the US. Spent 4 months in Brooke scraping off potential scar tissue, learning to walk again, regrowing my hair, learning how far from the hospital I could get with my IV drip (a lot farther with a borrowed wheelchair), learning to play guitar again for physical therapy, and spent an unauthorized long weekend locked up in Boys Town, Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. I was slightly reinjured by the duty nurse when I showed up on Monday a.m. at 0645, 15 min. before the doctors' rounds wearing a sombrero & serape, reeking of cheap tequila and singing La Cucaracha, accompanying myself on my new $8.00 Mexican guitar. In less than 5 minutes, I was forcibly undressed, cleaned up, thrown into bed and threatened with more bodily harm than I had when I arrived at the hospital. I also learned creative and effective cussing from that nurse. I didn't think I could be hurt so badly with the blunt-end of a pencil, but she did it. After 4 months I was discharged from the hospital and went to live in a freestyle barracks. My job was to reassemble my military file so I could be paid and discharged. Two weeks later I was given an early out from the Army and went home. I was in for 2 years, 9 months, 9 days, 1 hour and 40 minutes. Since I didn't die in the service of my country or in Mexico, I had to do something now because my folks wouldn't let me sponge off them.
1971-1972: Attended Shoreline Community College, and worked a summer at Togiak Fisheries, Togiak, AK as head butcher. I didn't get tossed out of Shoreline, but I did make the Dean's list. This time it was for having two 4.0 quarters and graduated with an Associates Degree in Arts & Sciences with a 3.8 GPA. Surprised the hell out of myself and most of my instructors. I also learned that Togiak, AK is as close to being a 3rd World Country as Viet Nam was in 1970. We ran out of real food for two weeks and had to eat baked, fried, poached, smoked, barbequed, steamed, pressure-cooked, canned and stir-fried salmon, salmon sushi, salmon patties and salmon loaf for breakfast, lunch, dinner and midnight snack for 14 straight days until we were resupplied. Learned to dislike salmon in any form. If I could have caught the cannery cat, I'd have eaten it instead.
1972-1973: Attended U of W School of Architecture, got married, started working at Seattle-First National Bank, Bank Properties Division. I became a real tax-paying citizen. What the hell was I thinking.
1973-First son born, Jason W. Ellison; I quit school & started working full time at the bank. It wasn't the alarm on MY biological clock that went off, but at least I got a playmate out of it.
1972-1979: Worked at Seattle-First National Bank-'72-'73 Bank Properties Div, '73-'76 Space Planning Dept (charter member), '76-'79 Furnishing Section of Corporate Purchasing Dept (charter member), and '77 became Purchasing Officer. Somewhere in here, I learned that I'm not a corporate-type person. I wasn't fond of the asses that I should have kissed, so I didn't. Luckily, I found the door before it was shown to me.
1976-Second son born, David W. Ellison. At least Jason and I got a new playmate out of it. Don't get me wrong, now! I did and do love my boys very much. We played well together.
1979-divorced. Um, we DIDN'T play well together. . .
1979-1980: Left the bank, went to JK Gill Commercial Furnishings. No luck at retiring, what with child support, rent and other miscellaneous living expenses to pay...and I liked food way too much to give it up, except for chocolate-covered donuts and pumpkin pie. And salmon.
1980-1985: Left JK Gill to work at The Craftsmen, Ltd., a custom contract furniture manufacturer-as estimator & custom furniture designer, and quit drinking at the same time. It was almost too much, but I got tired of waking up on the freeway driving at 70 mph not knowing where I was going until I saw a sign for the next off-ramp, wearing out my 3-piece suits in the knees and being able to identify my car by its hubcaps (baby moons on chrome wheels). Learned to live without the DTs but really missed the twisted, colorful animals I used to see and talk with.
1982-Now sober for two years, I married my 2nd wife, who was loving, beautiful & extremely tolerant! Did I ever score big on this one! What the hell was she thinking.
1985-1986: Left The Craftsmen, Ltd to work at Interior Woods as custom furniture engineer. How much can office furniture be engineered?! A lot for a kitchen cabinet shop, apparently. Tried to help them become an office furniture manufacturer, but-oh, well. See the next paragraph.
1986-1994: Left Interior Woods to work at Ebony Office Interiors in sales & design, and became a partner. It was good experience, but I'm not sure it was really the right thing to do for me financially. Made some great friends and lost some great money. Seems that partners always get paid last, least, or not at all. Luckily, my wife had a job that paid. In the meantime, Interior Woods closed down. Apparently the engineering part didn't stick. Also, somewhere in here, about St. Patrick's Day in 1990 or so, I quit smoking my 3 packs-a-day. I also quit seeing stars when I coughed, but I soon learned to live nicely without that.
1988: Adopted my wife's two sons, Craig & Blake. I now have four sons! I loved them all dearly (still do), but none of them had ever learned how to mow the lawn. But could they ever eat!
1994-Got diabetes for Christmas. That sure wasn't on my list, but it seems to be one of the few diseases I can handle--at least for right now. I had lost 21 lbs. in 15 days and almost went blind. There are more fun ways of going blind, but this way wasn't one of them. Thankfully it's been pretty much under control and I have an excuse to play with insulin and syringes before my meals. At least I can plan ahead for what I want to eat. Some foods are insulin-worthy, like the chocolate cake at The Claimjumper, burnt cream, lava cake, and most Chinese food. Did I mention that anything fried or deep-fried is high on my list, too? I'm a hamburger-with-multiple-patties junkie. I'm still not big on salads, but can tolerate them now. I still don't do chocolate-covered donuts or pumpkin pie. Or salmon.
1994-2006: Left Ebony to work at Facility Resource, Inc, a commercial furnishings dealership, for a real paycheck. It was bought out in 2002, merged with HBI Office Interiors & renamed NuMark Office Interiors. I'm a Senior Account Executive/GSA Specialist--means I've been around for a long time and I do office interiors for the US Government, mostly US Navy, Coast Guard, NOAA, and other miscellaneous government offices. I've fallen and I can't get out.
2006 to 2009: I'm still working at NuMark Office Interiors doing the same thing because I haven't won the lottery and I may very well be a masochist. I now have 8 grandchildren--5 boys & 3 girls-ranging in age from 20 to 3 years old. They are a parent's greatest reward and best revenge. Life is good! The kids (our four sons) are grown and gone, all with their own families, all with their own homes and all still living in Washington, the dog's dead, and the freedom is wonderful! It's been an amazing journey, one I wouldn't trade for anything (well, maybe I'd trade part of it if someone offered me enough money). The 'cherry on top' is that since 2003, I've been playing guitar & drums and singing with a praise band in our little church. Most people who knew me "before" can't quite see me doing this, but I've mellowed out a lot and I've never been happier! So call or e-mail me if you need office furniture because I STILL haven't won the lottery.
2008: Began to eat chocolate-covered donuts again. See 1957 for reference. I still don't eat pumpkin pie, though. I can now have a bite...Expand for more
or two of salmon without getting the dry heaves. Progress.
February, 2009: I'll be the proud granddad of another grandchild this year, probably around August or September! My wife and I will be retiring in March of this year, too! No, we didn't win the lottery and our 401Ks have tanked, but what the heck? It's time to leave "furniture emergencies" (yes, there really IS such a thing...just ask some of my clients) to younger people now. We've seen the writing on the wall, and they've made me clean it up. It's time for us to stop this working nonsense and start playing again! So as not to miss the frustration of working, I may take up golf again. Anyway, I'll let you know how really good I feel in about a month.
March 17, 2009: At last, it's finally done! My wife and I officially joined the ranks of ex-employees of NuMark Office Interiors last Friday the 13th at 5:00 pm. Luckily, we found the door before it was shown to us. We are officially retired. I was a bit surprised I felt the way I did yesterday morning as I eased into the day by getting out of bed at 10:15 and sat down to my morning cup of coffee. I really savored it. I don't expect that it will really hit us with a big jolt until sometime later this week, if at all, when one or both of us wake up with a shock that we're late for something and then realize, "Oh! No we're not." I have to say that I savored the moment last Friday afternoon, walking out the door for the final time with no cell phone on my belt, no key card to get back into the office, and the lightest briefcase I've had since it was new. The sun was still shining, the air seemed to be just a little sweeter, and I really felt as though a load had been lifted off me. If I ever find myself missing the frustration of work, I will take up golf again. I think my wife felt a bit numb, not exactly believing we were finally retired. I know it will take a little time for it to sink in for her, but not too much time. I do believe we'll slide into this retirement stuff quite nicely. Time for a nap now.
April 21, 2009:
Retirement is great! We're finding out we can get by on less than we thought, and there's no stress unless my wife hauls out her honey-do list.
February 27, 2010:
Retirement is even better than it was a year ago! Whatever stress there is, is self-imposed--and I'm not into the self-imposition of any kind of stress. I'm looking forward to a stretch of good weather (Spring!) so I can get back into the yard and pretty it up so we can enjoy it once again! Projects abound (honey-do list) and there's no crush to get them done except when we can, so there's no boredom looking for something to do. With every Spring, hope and life are renewed and the garage needs cleaning out again.
December 26, 2010:
My how things have changed in just a few short months. My wife was diagnosed with metastatic brain cancer on June 17, 2010, just before we were to leave on vacation to San Jose to see her oldest sister, Dar. Her doctors had felt it had originated from triple-negative breast cancer that was discovered in May, 2008 and was successfully treated with a lumpectomy, radiation and chemo. She began radiation and chemo treatments that proved to be ineffectual. They only weakened her, and her health declined steadily. Though we were prayerfully optimistic, she became bed-ridden in late September. She was placed under hospice care on October 1 here at home and I cared for her because it was my turn. She took such good care of me throughout our marriage and I needed to take such good care of her. It was my honor to take care of her. Now, after 28 years of being married to the love of my life, I am alone. My wife, Lou, passed away quietly at home the morning of November 23, 2010 as she had lived her life, without fanfare and with me. She was my One Great Love. It was a beautiful, sunny day with 4" of new snow. I had just finished cleaning her up and dressed her in her favorite nightie, and with just a quiet exhale, a mere soft breath, my love of 28 years was gone and I was alone. I had her memorial service on December 11, 2010. Though that provided closure for many, it didn't for me.
December 1, 2011:
I have survived my Year of Firsts and have begun to live--really live--once again.
Now I am celebrating the good things, the wonderful memories and experiences we had on our almost-30-year journey through life together, through good times and bad, through healthy times and sickness, through being poor and then comfortable, but all the while being together. These times are really cause for celebration, as are the "gifts" I have received during this Year of Firsts.
I recall how peaceful she looked after she passed away, lying in the hospital bed that I had set up for her in the guest room. I called the boys and told them before I called the hospice nurse. Craig and Cheryl came over and saw her before I called the funeral home. Just before they arrived, I went into the room to see her alone one last time, and there on her face was the most beautiful, peaceful smile I had ever seen. I couldn't believe it. I called Craig in so he could see it. Neither of us could believe it, but there it was. It was fitting. She was free, she wasn't hurting or suffering anymore; she had gone Home.
After the memorial service, I really began to grieve for my loss. I withdrew, the days were heavy with grief and tears, and the pain was so great that it would drop me to my knees in the hall where I would scream and pound on the floor until I begged God for mercy from the searing, stabbing pain and loneliness that I felt. How many tears can a man cry? More than I ever could have imagined. Every night I would pray that I wouldn't wake up in the morning, but every morning I awoke disappointed that He chose not to listen or grant me that prayer. I kept seeing the plaque on the wall in the kitchen that read: "God's Three Answers to Your Prayers: 1) Yes; 2) Not yet; 3) I have something better in mind." It would bring a rush of tears and anger to me every day, and I'd find myself on the floor, writhing in pain, so lonely that I wanted to die right then. And every day, when I couldn't stand it anymore, I would cry out to God for mercy and He would grant it one more time...every time I asked, He would grant it.
It was in February when I awoke one night from a severe hypoglycemic event. I was shaking, my heart was pounding and I was bathed in sweat; I knew that was my body's way of trying to raise my blood sugar. I also knew that I should get up and eat something to normalize my blood sugar, but I just laid there and thought to myself that it would be so easy to not get up, to let my blood sugar fall until I became comatose and died in my bed. But for some reason, I struggled to get up. I stumbled over to the vanity and tested to see how low it was. It was 43. Normal is between 60 and 120. I made it to the kitchen and ate some ice cream, a bowl of cereal and a glass of V8. After that, as I sat in my dark living room to let my blood sugar normalize, I had my first "ah-ha" moment: I realized that I wanted to live more than I wanted to die, and I wanted to live for ME. I still had things I wanted to do. It was the real beginning of my 'new' life.
I still had some rough moments, like beginning to attend an 8-week group grief session once a week, like Lou's birthday on March 23 when I twice stood in front of a cabinet where I kept my pistol and screamed at it, "I know you're in there!" and then walked away from it both times. And then there was the first Good Friday where I had to sing all five verses of "Were You There" acapella at the end of the service in a darkened church and my voice cracked three times and I broke down and wept when I was finished, the first Easter Sunday without her, the first Memorial Day weekend without her, the first day of my first road trip in the middle of June...I was in central Oregon on my way to California when I saw a beautiful rainbow and turned to comment to Lou how beautiful it was, and for the first time, she wasn't there beside me on a vacation; I wept as I drove the next 50 or so miles. There was also the first 4th of July without her, my second road trip to MT and first family reunion without her, and then what would have been our 29th wedding anniversary.
In the midst of it all, I realized that I was healing as time went on. Instead of grieving her loss and absence on those days, I had begun to celebrate the wonderful memories we had made together over the years, especially on what would have been our 29th anniversary in mid-August. I had some wonderful moments in the midst of this Year of Firsts! The first was on my birthday, when I realized that the deep, stabbing pain and loneliness I felt had been taken from me, and for the first time in awhile I felt good! I felt as though I was ready to really live again! I felt that God and Lou had given me a most wonderful gift that day! A month later, I began to have feelings again, misguided as they were. I had begun to feel things that I hadn't since I was a teenager, and it took awhile to temper them, reign them in. When I did, I began to see things as though I was seeing them for the first time, with a wonder and appreciation that I hadn't felt in a long time.
Now that sweet chapter of my life is closed but will never be forgotten. A new chapter has begun, and I have met and have fallen in love with a most wonderful woman. Neither of us ever expected that it would happen to us, but it did. Life is good and getting better every day. Who can say he's been blessed with these kinds of loves in his life? I now can! We are so happy together, it feels so natural. She is so good to me and I love her dearly. I believe this is simply one more "gift" from God and Lou. Thank you! I am, and will be, forever grateful.
February 17, 2015: I am a published author. "The First Snow: A Journal About a Man's Faith-Based Journey through Grief"
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