Brad Benggio:
CLASS OF 1973
Columbia High SchoolClass of 1973
Columbia, SC
Columbia High SchoolClass of 1975
Columbia, SC
Rutherford High SchoolClass of 1973
Panama city, FL
Wardlaw Junior High SchoolClass of 1970
Columbia, SC
McCants Elementary SchoolClass of 1967
Columbia, SC
Brad's Story
Life
RESUME FOR BRADFORD BENGGIO
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch
breaks, making them more
efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water
for three days in a row. I woo
women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and
I cook Thirty-Minute
Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a
large glass of water, I once
single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello,
I was scouted by the Mets, I
am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban
hang gliding. On Wednesdays,
after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over
my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been
caller number nine and have won
the we...Expand for more
ekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft
floral arrangements have
earned me fame in international botany circles. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I
once read Paradise Lost, Moby
Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact
location of every food item
in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I
sleep in a chair. While on vacation
in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not
apply to me. I balance, I weave,
I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I
discovered the meaning of life
but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed
prize-winning clams. I have won
bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have
performed open-heart
surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
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