Carole Pulos:
CLASS OF 1970
John H. Francis Polytechnic High SchoolClass of 1970
Sun valley, CA
Richard E. Byrd Junior High SchoolClass of 1967
Sun valley, CA
Fernangeles Elementary SchoolClass of 1963
Sun valley, CA
Carole's Story
WOW, what a ride life is! In High School I was the Loner, the crazy Flower Child who learned to play snare drums! After a couple of years, I changed to Disco Queen...then in 1975 I had my one and only son, Jason, who is now 33. Then I moved to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands for a year. Came back to CA and searched for and found my birthparents and four brothers and sisters. Life went on...for the past year I have been in China.
This is the story I gave there:
fact #1 is I would rather
be eaten by Lions than speak in public. I will
probably do more reading than speaking, so this may
sound more like a speech than a story.
I'll start off by telling you a few things about who I
am and where I am coming from. I almost never talk,
but when I do, I will want to give you every possible
detail that you probably never wanted to know. If I am
giving you my email or phone number, I will also want
to give you my five last known addresses and my second
cousins' (twice removed) phone number...JUST in case
you might need it someday!
Some of my friends call this 'anal retentive.'
-I- prefer to call it 'detail oriented.'
I have a 33 year old son, Jason, who lives in Chicago,
and a 12 year old granddaughter, Zoe, my Hawaiian
Princess. (She lives in Hawaii with my ex-daughter in
law.)
In General, I had a pretty crazy life!
I came 'of age' in the 60's...I was vehemently against
the Vietnam War and went to every possible protest
rally and sit in that I could get to. I also felt very
strongly about Civil Rights and the Underdogs of life.
My hero's of the day were Joan Baez, Bobby Kennedy,
Martin Luther King Jr, and the Berrigan brothers (they
were Catholic Priests who were against the war and
poured blood on draft files in protest)
At that time there was another side to my life. I was
embracing ALL the 60's had to offer...sex, drugs and
rock'n roll. My drug of choice was usually alcohol,
and by the time the 70's rolled around I went from
Flower Child to Disco Queen, hanging out in bars and
nightclubs every night by the age of 18. I was already
6 ft tall, and back then I had what it took to carry
off the look of band-aid size miniskirts with fishnet
stockings and 5 inch heels. No one ever asked for my
ID.
But inside I was always fearful of people and life,
despite all outward appearances.
At the age of 23 I became a single mom, and when my
son Jason was born it was the happiest day of my life.
I never knew you could love another human being so
fiercely. He was the first person I ever really felt
connected to, and, he was my first blood relative,
because I had been given up for adoption when I was
born.
I was adopted at the age of 1 1/2 and I grew up as
the only child of Joe & Thelma, my adoptive parents.
I knew that they loved me, however no display of
emotion was ever allowed in our house. No one ever
hugged or said I love you. When I was little I
remember seeing my dad come up behind my mom in the
kitchen and put his arms around her waist to hug her,
but she shrugged him off. I remember thinking I never
wanted to be like that.
When I was 17 my mom called me into the backyard to
tell me my dad was dying of bone marrow cancer. She
said he wasn't ever going to be told he had cancer,
and for me to stop crying and go back in the house and
pretend like nothing was wrong.
Emotionally, I learned to build walls of protection.
A lot of the bricks are still there.
I was aways terribly shy and scared of people, even
store clerks. I would go to 2 or 3 stores to find
something, because I was to afraid to just ask someone
at the first store where to find something I didn't
see on the shelf.
My intense desire to find my birth-parents was the one
thing that forced me to get out into the world and
actually interact with other people. After 6 years of
searching, I found both of my birth-parents, and 4
half-brothers and sisters. My dad's family is 100%
Greek and if you have ever seen the movie "My Big Fat
Greek Wedding," it is all true!!!
Emotion is one things the Greeks never hold back on,
and I was welcomed with open arms and loving hearts.
Likewise, the primarily Norwegian family I found with
my mom was the same, they too showed open displays of
emotion. After such wonderful reunions you would think
that my long ingrained issues of abandonment and
rejection would have magically disappeared, but they
didn't.
I grew up in what I call the 'dark ages' of adoption.
Secrecy and lies were the order of the day. All the
records were sealed, and even today it is illegal for
me to have my original birth certificate. My amended
one says I was actually born to my adoptive parents.
For many years I was involved in countless search and
support adoption organizations, and I met countless
people with countless stories. They were all looking
for love and acceptance, a place to belong.
One man who was searching found o...Expand for more
ut his mom had a
nervous breakdown after he was born, as her family had
forced her to give him away. She spent most of her
life in and out of mental institutions. When he found
her he contacted her by letter. She sent back a
sympathy card in her own handwriting, saying she had
died on the day he was born. I can't even begin to
imagine the kind of pain that she lived with. My own
birth-father was devastated when I was given up. He
was 16 when I was born, and by the time he was 17 he
was a Heroin addict. My finding him didn't 'cure' his
addiction as my grandmother had hoped it would.
Back when I was going to bars and nightclubs every
night, I also met a lot of people with that same deep
pain in their lives. People like me, who went home
with strangers night after night so they could fool
themselves into feeling loved for just one night, or
maybe even just one hour.
I don't know all the plans God has for me, but I do
hope to be able to help people that have the depth of
pain I have seen and experienced over the years. I
want to tell them there is only one love that will
continually fill you up-day after day, night after
night, hour after hour.
And that is the Love of Jesus Christ-the Love I came
to know 4 years ago.
As I was going through my Fourth divorce, I started
thinking it might be a good idea to try going back to
church again. I had gone to Sunday School with my
neighbor, and at the age of 12 we were all
'encouraged' to 'accept Jesus', so I did.
But obviously no Internal change had taken place.
Then, in Dec 2003, my friend Lori invited me to
church, and 7 weeks later on Friday the 13 in Feb, God
Did the internal change in an amazing way.
I had emailed my pastor a question earlier that day,
and when the reply came into my in-box, I clicked it
open. At that very moment I felt something Slam into
my body SO Powerfully that I looked back to see if I
was on the floor! I knew it was God, but I didn't know
what was happening. I felt like I was on SPEED
every molecule and nerve ending was so alive, and
something like fire was racing through me.
I just said...'God, you can't do this to me now..I'm
at work!!! Like HE didn't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That whole weekend all I did was cry and pray and read
the bible that God had somehow miraculously
orchestrated to be in my house. Looking back, I never
ate or drank anything that whole weekend, and the
feeling of fire racing through my body stayed with me
that whole weekend. THAT was the beginning of my true
relationship with Jesus.
God often speaks to me in visions and dreams. On Feb
13th, my one year anniversary of coming to the Lord,
God gave me a vision of an incredible birthday party!
There were birthday banners and balloons everywhere,
and every possible cartoon character you could imagine
was there. The colors were so vivid they almost hurt!
That is just one example of how God has shown me His
Amazing Love over the last 4 years.
In early 2006 I had a vision that was like a billboard
in my head, in giant letters it just said 'SOUTHEAST
ASIA.' In December 2006 I was on my first 2 week
mission trip to China, and as we flew into the
southern Yunnan province, there on the side of the
mountain was a giant billboard that said-...Welcome to
SOUTHEAST ASIA. Isn't God Awesome?!?
I have had other dreams and visions about being in
other countries. One time I saw myself on a motorcycle
riding through many different countries (and yes, I do
have a motorcycle license)
I had a vision of several different countries' flags,
and I hope that God will send me to all these places
someday.
less than 2 weeks ago I was in China, where God led me
in Nov 2007. I was on another 2 week mission trip, not
knowing if I would come home after 2 weeks or if God
would open a door to stay in China and He did. I had
almost no support, and the Lord spent those 9 months
training me to Trust Him, no matter what. To WAIT when
I had no other way to put a dollar in my wallet than
to WAIT on His Provision. There are stories there, I
can tell you!
On both trips to China, my heart has been especially
touched by working with former prostitutes. In 2006
the most incredible thing happened when I was in
Southeast Asia. We were at a home that was helping
former prostitutes, and as I sat among them, JESUS
filled my entire being with the incredible Love He has
for these girls. As His Love poured through me, and
out to them, tears just flooded down my face.
This is the love that Jesus showed to me when I was
adopted into the family of God. Now I have a world
full of brothers and sisters, and yet it is still as
if I am his only child, because He loves each one of
us in such a unique and special way.
When Christ poured out his life's blood for me-
He took my death and gave me life
He took my sorrow and gave me joy
He took my shame, and gave me dignity.
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