Christopher Root:  

I have debated whether or not to write anything substantial here. On the one hand, it seems like an exercise in futility, since the odds of anyone actually reading it are quite slim. On the other hand, on the off chance anyone actually does choose to look up my profile, I think I should give them something. So, with that thought in mind, here you are. Please note that I am disregarding the 'story wizard' suggestions for now. If you'd like to see my superficial answers to those superficial suggestions, scroll down. Not to sound crass, but I really don't care how I'm remembered, and I'm perfectly capable of organizing my own thoughts. On that note . . . Once upon a time there was a very smart boy who really hated school . . . nah, that's a terrible way to start a story. First, let me get a couple of things out of the way. You may be surprised to learn that I've never gone on a killing spree. This may seem unlikely, but I assure you it's true. I've also managed to avoid being sent to prison, in spite of multiple arrests on charges ranging from 'grand larceny' to 'sexual misconduct with an eggplant'. By the way, if you haven't figured out that this is tongue-in-cheek yet, then shame on you. Go get a sense of humor . . . I've heard you can rent them from Blockbuster these days. But seriously . . . For many years I managed a print shop. My design skills were put to good use doing business card layouts, letterhead, designing logos and the like. It would have been a great job, if it weren't for the damned customers! (Little joke for anyone who's ever worked retail.) Sadly, about two years ago, I was involved in a car accident which left me with nerve damage in my right hip. (I'd like to take a moment to thank all the people who think they can talk on their cell phones while driving, without it affecting their concentration: Thanks!) As a result of this accident, I had to give up my job in the print field, since I can no longer stay on my feet for eight hours a day. Since then, I've been trying to decide what I want to do. Currently, I'm involved in computer networking and security, which is just a fancy way of saying I help manage a server farm. It's not a bad way to make a buck, but it gets pretty tedious at times. However, I'm quite adept at wrangling technology, so I'm going to stick with it until something better rears its head. But enough about employment. I've never been defined by my job . . . in my opinion, a job should merely be something that facilitates what you really want to do. Back in the day, I liked to draw and paint. In my mid-twenties, I began sculpting, which I found even more satisfying. However, when I was about thirty I decided to try my hand at writing something on a whim, and I finally found the medium I had been searching for. I spend much of my free time planted in front of my computer putting word to 'paper'. I have had three short stories published, and have worked on five video game strategy guides. Not enough to support myself on, but enough to get a Hi-Def TV and a pretty good home theater setup. (I assure you, it makes movie night a whole lot more interesting.) I'd like to be able to make a living by writing, but whether or not I ever do is inconsequential. It's the act of writing that's important to me, not the income. On a different note: I am an outspoken atheist, which has lead to some interesting encounters. I had a fascinating conversation with a Methodist minister who actually admitted to me that he didn't believe the Bible to be true either, in spite of the fact that he continues (to this day) to preach every Sunday. I also had my life threatened by someone who thought I deserved to spend eternity on fire, simply because I can't bring myself to believe that a 6,000 year old fairy tale is true. (Before you start, I'm dating this from the Old Testament.) No joke! His exact words were "I oughta' f***ing cut your throat right now! Then you can go tell f***ing satan how he's f***ing imaginary!" Charming example of the love, brotherhood and tolerance that religion allegedly advocates, don't you think? I have many more wonderful anecdotes about being an atheist in America, but I'm not here to proselytize. I am, however, writing a book about my experiences, which I hope one day to have published. Before I abandon this topic, however, let me answer the most common question I get about atheism . . . "Why?" Because I actually read the Bible, and in the immortal words of Isaac Asimov, "Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." Or, as the late great Douglas Adams said in his wonderful book 'Last Chance to See': "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" Other things of note: I volunteered at a shelter for abused animals for about a year, but it was way to depressing to see the things that people did to animals. I won't disturb you with the details (because they would), but suffice ...Expand for more