Daniel Goodale-Porter:  

I'm just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime. Nothing but a low-down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed, turkey necked, weasel faced, worthless hunk of slime. Guess I pretty low self image. Maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something -- I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I've got the time... I always wanted to be a Jedi when I grew up. My family and friends thought that was a obtuse idea. As it turns out, the idea was greater than 90 degrees....so there is that. If I'm going to work somewhere, I need to have gravity, O2, friction and potatoes to be able to deal with the day-to-day. The one person from my past who I'd most like to see again is Mr. Science, because he is dead now. If I could improve my home, I'd remodel the neighborhood and add on a demilitarized zone. My dream home would be a Yurt. If I won $100 million, I'd give 30% of it to the government, then spend the rest on fog oil, thermoplastic and obsolete optics. My current age is 49. When I was 12, I thought that people my age now would be living on moon base Alpha. I was so completely afraid on 13 September 1999 . Turns out 11 September 2001 was when I should have been afraid. My best friend would tell you I'm white and 71 inches tall, but people who don't know me very well would probably describe me as 70 inches. I share my home with dust mites, which I find frightening under an electron microscope. In 10 years, I hope to be alive. I'm going to get there by eating polysorbate 80. My first job was at Schenectady, where I got paid poorly to do nothing. What I remember most about it is walking. I hope my friends remember me as someone I might give a high paying job to in the future. I blow off steam by releasing the seal on my pressure cooker. The wildest thing I did in school was graduate. My hero is Dr. Andrew Davidhazy, for obvious reasons. I've lived in Washington, Alabama, Panama, Texas, Mississippi, Germany, Iraq, Virginia, and Germany again and the pearl of the Anti...Expand for more