David Bivens:
CLASS OF 1992
Covington High SchoolClass of 1992
Covington, LA
University of Oregon - JournalismClass of 1997
Eugene, OR
David's Story
Life
After some major set backs which were handled on my part with incredible resilience, I found myself helpless in the very pit of hell. To my amazement I discovered that Satan is real. Detailing the extraordinary events of these wild hallucinations would be insignificant so I just enclosed the photo to justify such unearthly claims. That is me on the left. Yes, I am the good looking fellow about to get poked by that hellish tyrant in the back ground.
After a few grueling days of torment, I was excommunicated due to my god awful shrieks of anguish. The preacher man at the Baptist church near Five Lakes never told me that daemons have such a short patience for spasms of molestation. They unanimously agreed that I was too soft and wimpy for hell and were all endlessly annoyed at my...Expand for more
constant whimpering. So they sent me back up and told me to grow up and learn to be a man. I was instructed to meditate on words like ÂDirtÂ, ÂGritÂ, ÂSweatÂ, ÂTruck and most importantly Â
well you know that certain phenomenon that makes my face flush with the color of the gardenia. The daemon told me only when such manliness was achieved that my readmission would be considered.
Now haunted by certain inescapable visions I am completely incapable of normal social function. I bide my time tramping up and down the Burlington Northern Santa Fe in search of America. But I only find cold nights and cheap real estate. Additionally, there is always an unease in the wind and a constant pain in my stomach. But my supple disposition gives me the strength and courage to carry on.
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