David Thorpe:  

What I look like now: Imagine George Clooney if he had drown in a river and his bloated and rotting corpse was found 4 days later. That's what I look like now...but not as good looking. What I do for a living: I sell weapons that don't work to countries so they can defend themselves against other countries that also bought my weapons that don't work. What I plan to do when I retire: - Become old and bitter - Make up lengthy but easily refuted conspiracy theories, and tell them with conviction to random strangers at bus stops. - Burst a blood vessel by screaming angrily at a bowl of cereal for being too crunchy. Life Summary: 1982- At UC Riverside, part of NCAA Karate championship team 1983- Graduated from UC Riverside with degree in Physics 1984- Started wor...Expand for more