Deborah Clement:
CLASS OF 1970
Surrattsville High SchoolClass of 1970
Clinton, MD
Deborah's Story
Oh no!!!! My heat went out. Tonight will have windchills as low as 15 degrees. Thank heavens my stint as a Girl Scout leader taught me how to light a fire. My Florida home has a fireplace and I had a truckload of aged firewood delivered. Brrrrrr! Going to be cold tonight.
Happy New Year to all! May you have a joyous and blessed 2018. Cyber hugs to all!
March 29, 2017. 65. Reached 65 as all of us have or will. Time of reflection. Ex-husband Bill Clement and I have a comfortable relationship now. He is married to a lovely woman who is an awesome stepmother to my children. We were just a bad match. I wasn't right for him and he wasn't right for me. But...we have 2 wonderful children and 4 amazing grandchildren. Bob's dementia turned out to be a bad mix of meds and he is doing really well. We are doing well but are unsure what our next step should be. I need a new roof as the last hurricane caused damage we were unaware of at the time. So sell and move to Cedar Key, stay here, move to St. Augustine... Possibilities are endless now that Bob is back to the man I met! So, I am happy and hope that all of you are as well!
March 12, 2015. Nothing has changed. Still in Florida. Bob has been trying but Alzheimer's does not allow improvement. Keeping busy, sewing, crocheting, have a pass to Zoo which is a wonderful stress reliever. Considering coloring my hair - found 2 gray ones~ I spent years as a highlighted blonde (they do have more fun) and then changed back to my natural brunette. Tired of being conservative. Very lonely due to Bob's condition. So, it is wonderful to keep up with old friends on this site. Don't be strangers, write to me, I would really appreciate it. Cyber hugs to all!
December 2014
Currently, I am in Simpsonville, SC, visiting my daughter, son-in-law and my granddaughters. Having an absolutely wonderful time. Bob's daughter is caring for him. Tonight, I get to cross off something from my bucket list! My daughter is taking me to Ruth's Chris. Now, if she would only bend enough to take me to see a monster truck show, and skiing, and ..... Paris! Anyway, tomorrow, we tour the apartment communities near her home so that I can select one. I have found a renter for our home in Callahan, Florida. Our move is planned for June of 2015. I need to find an apartment that is not only near her lovely home, but also near a driving range, as golf skills are also on my bucket list. (Those who remember Jeanne Jackson's - and my - disastrous attempts to master golf during our Junior year will understand). The pro actually patted me on the head and told me to find another sport. Anyway, Merry Christmas to all and would love to hear from you.
October 2014
Well, little has changed since my last note. sigh. I have found someone to rent my home to, and I am moving Bob , and myself to Simpsonville, SC. There are some lovely luxury apartments about 3 miles from my daughter. Closing out this house and downsizing possessions is difficult. At 62, I want to live. Yet, I also recognize my obligations to Bob. His health continues to downgrade, and when he no longer recognizes me, I will find him the best facility that I can. He is 6'10" and 350 pounds. He could hurt me very badly. Life has not been kind. I chose the wrong man for me when I married Bill Clement and my life has gone so differently than I planned. The warning signs were all there, I just chose to ignore them. I spent 17 years married to him. Catholics don't divorce. But, I gained 2 beautiful children, and now I have 4 grandchildren. Anyway, I yearn to be free. I just read of Richard Ludke's death and I have not even worked halfway through my bucket list. Bob's second wife (I am fourth) just died and the shortness of life has become crystal clear. By moving to Simpsonville, I hope to reclaim my life. Sorry, just my rambling after a particularly difficult Monday. Tomorrow I must take him back to VA. Will I ever choose the right lifetime companion? Anyway, hope that whoever reads this is doing well and remembers to live life to the fullest, I intend to start.
Well, a lot has changed since my last note. Currently I am in Simpsonville, SC, outside of Greenville, SC, visiting my daughter and her family. I have a live-in caretaker for Bob now, so I am able to travel once again. He continues his downward spiral and likes her, so that I am able to travel guilt free. Due to his debilitating illness (dementia) our circle of friends has pretty much drifted away, so I find myself alone (and lonely). At 60, I do not have 1 foot in the grave, and I need to start living again. I can not stop his illness, nor the progression of it. I have recognized that there will come a time when he will not know me and could be a harm to me (he is 6'10" tall and 300 pounds). I will not be able to physically manage him or defend myself. I will cross that bridge when the time comes. I enjoy keeping up with my friends here, and my friends through facebook, as well as spending time with my son and daughter, and my church family. I never thought that this would be my life - but it is. Prior to his decline, we spent 11 years traveling the country in our RV. Restriction to one place has been difficult for me as I was born with wanderlust. When the time is appropriate, I will purchase a much smaller RV (ours was 36' long) and resume my travels. I still want to see Mt. Rushmore and the Air Force Museum at Dayton (love planes). Anyway, heading home on Wednesday. Still searching for the next fork in the road (English class - Robert Frost's poem - remember?). Merry Christmas to all and to all that you love! Hugs from Florida
August 2012
Didn't realize that classmates had a "friend" tab. So, have been busy pushing that for all of you who have checked in with me over the last several months. Just a light note to say that I retain all ten of my fingers - I never pruned the ligustrum. Things remain the same. Bob still in dementia decline, and I still can not grow a decent tomato. In Steel Magnolias there is a line about Southern Women who are supposed to dig in the dirt and grow tomatoes. Well, I tried. They are just not cooperating. I have, though, mastered the art of making perfect sweet tea. I can still host a dinner party for 20, but find that a barbecue for 20 is so much more fun. And, oh, can I make a chocolate cake. You are now permitted to drool. I still use my mother's recipe. It is sin on a plate. Anyway, that is what I have been up to. Most of you, I hear from through facebook, but I can always be reached here through either private or open notes. Hope all of you are doing well. Many cyber hugs from muggy, buggy, sultry Florida!
July 2012
Still here. Bob having more bad days, but still remembers who I am. Weather has turned sultry (how's that for a word)! Going to a pizza party at the church tonight to welcome new minister. My one cherry tomato has still not turned red, and despite aerial bombardment of mosquitos - they are still here, although many lizards are belly up. Life has settled into a rhythm where one day bleeds into the next. I feel like I am in the metaphorical corridor where one door is closing but the next has not opened. 60 still feels so young and so full of possibilities. I think I will make an actual "bucket" list, and start checking things off. Anything to break the monotony of these days. First on my bucket list is to make a list of friends I want to re-establish contact with (in better English - with whom I wish to re-establish contact : )I am torn between a man who soon will not know my name and Match.com. Seriously, folks that is just a joke. I just feel so restless and I want to be alive. So there is your July update - I am losing my moral compass, along with my mind. Cyber hugs from Florida!
May 2012: It rained in my living room. It actually rained in my living room. Operative word: "in". Wow! Tropical Storm Beryl hammered us! Bob still declining, depend upon friends and neighbors for help around the house. My front yard is a river, and my back yard is a lake! My Yorkie went to the door, looked out, looked up at me, and came back in to use the piddle pad. She would have needed floaties to use the yard : ) My daughter Kristin is traveling down from Greenville, SC, on Friday. She needs dental work from her Dad (Really - she is a doctor, married to an attorney - don't they have dentists in South Carolina?) Anyway, she and the g...Expand for more
irls, Lily age 3, and Emma, age 1/2, will be at my home on Monday, where I will host a gathering of friends and family, while Kristin attempts to paint my kitchen a lovely shade of blue - Skipper blue - ironic, as my brother Harry, has always been called Skipper. Anyway, it is still raining, I am constantly running loads of towels, and hopefully someone from church will be by this week to fix the area where porch meets home. Cyber hugs from across the years, from wet and soggy Callahan! I am told that this is just liquid sunshine! ---- Oh, new fantasy crush: Benedict Cumberbatch! Just finished reading 50 shades of gray (all 3 books) - power out for 12 hours - thank God for Kindle - he IS Christian Grey! Shame he is the same age as my son. Oh, well, that is the beauty of fantasy crushes, they are fantasies!
January 2012: Well, I thought that my journey into widowhood was beginning this week. Bob has been hospitalized since Saturday before last, with pancreatitis, which degenerated into gallbladder surgery, heart problems, and kidney failure. He turns 71 today. For those who have taken the time to read my previous entries, you know that he has been struggling with dementia. It manifested itself in the hospital, in the recovery room, where I was called back as he was violent and disoriented. I suppose that he thought that he was in Vietnam, as he kept screaming at me to get under the bed, it wasn't safe. Then I had to wrestle an oxygen bottle away from him, as he thought it was a bomb and was trying to open it. I could write more, but I think that lets you know what it has been like around here. His brother thinks that I need to put him into a home, as he is getting harder to handle. he is 6'10" and if he didn't recognize me, he could hurt me badly. Anyway, not quite ready for that yet. On a positive note, after prayer and meditation, I recognize that this chapter of my life is ending, and another will open. When he no longer recognizes me, I will let him go, for my own safety. I will miss the man he was. Anyway, lonely, but trying to keep a positive attitude. Anyone with free time, please contact me, would love to hear from you, and remember a time when life was simpler. Hugs from Callahan, Debbie
I MISS MY RV! This life is static, I miss the excitement of new places, and new adventures. Okay, I will have a little cheese with that whine. Nothing has changed, other than the birth of my 4th grandchild - Emma Catherine Bogle. Quiet Christmas. Spent Christmas Eve at my son's, and watched the boys open their gifts. Bob continues to fade away. I try to keep busy with volunteer work. Would welcome any contact. Living a very solitary life, except for church. Oh, no, whining again : ) Bob's girls want him placed in an extended care facility at a certain point, and I agree with them. He is too large, and too tall at 6'10" for us to manage safely. Alzheimer's/senile dementia is very unpredictable. So, life is what you make of it, and my goal this year is to purchase a small camper to tow behind my Yukon. Then, I can still travel, at a lesser cost. My family, other than my children, are all gone now. So, I am in the process of building a new life. Just haven't decided how that life is going to be. My best friend Gail, passed away. Gail and I were single mothers together. Under the influence of margaritas, we decided that it would be an economically feasible idea if we colored each other's hair. At that time, we were both ash blondes with tans from living in my pool. Oh, I miss my pool. It was a volleyball pool. Anyway, under margarita's magic spell, I volunteered to go first. I then found that I had vivid blue hair (long before it was fashionable). Hysterically laughing we went to Sally's Beauty Supply hoping for help, and were turned away! We had to admit to our regular hairdresser what we had done, and submitted to lectures while she fixed the damage. Gail died 5 years ago, and with her died my old age plan. We were going to be the bee-hived hair old women with white patent leather purses, and support hose, you see at Western Sizzling, with ziploc bags in our purses! Crazy girls, crazy times, not going to happen. We were definitely living life on the wild side. That was my only old age plan. So, that is why I am sitting here, writing this, while pondering where my path will take me next. Maybe there is another Gail out there, to be silly with, and grow old with, to ogle old geezers with : ). Maybe there will be a third marriage. Maybe Bob will miraculously stop his descent into dementia. Maybe I will run away with Toby Keith, my current fantasy crush...who knows...God has a plan, and I am just waiting for the door to open. Belated Happy New Year's to all, and many, many cyber hugs, Debbie
September 2011 update -- I loved that RV. I am living in Callahan, Florida. Sold the RV, gas became too expensive, and my travelling companion (and RV pilot) has developed early Alzheimers. He slips away each day, a little more. I will miss him so much. I know that in time, I will become a stranger to him. His daughters live near here, as does my son. My daughter lives in South Carolina. Not too much to say. My life is on hold. Still doing volunteer work. Just finished the costumes for the Community Theatre production of "The Princess and the Pea", taking up painting (no not the house kind) again, waiting for the birth of my 4th grandchild, and trying to determine where life will take me next. I know that when God closes one door, he will open another. Belief in this is what helped me endure the rough times in my life. I had a difficult marriage, I lost a child, my parents, and my direction. Now, I just need to wait, and have patience, and recognize when it is time for the next door to open. I did find Patty Heath, and keep up with her. She was the first friend I made at Surrattsville Junior High. Still looking for other friends. Need to apologize for not keeping up with all of them. It was easier to let them go, then let them know what a mistake I had made. I accept that one door must close before another one can open. It was time to close some doors. Anyway, sleepless most nights, and would love to hear from any of you. Cyber hugs from across the years, Debbie
November 2007 update -- I LOVE this RV! I am currently in Jacksonville, Florida visiting friends and yes, I still go to my ex-husband (Bill Clement) for dental work! Very amicable divorce (at least on my part - not so much on his)! Heading for Clinton sometime in spring to bury my parents (urns) at Arlington Cemetary. Anyone reading this, let me know if you want to get together and act 17 again! Seriously, would love to do meet and greet, lunch, dinner... Still looking for Patty Heath, Jeanne Jackson and Tom Gilbert. After my wedding in 1972, they all seemed to disappear. I had great time at Surrattsville and treasure the friends I made and wish, with hindsight, that I had made and kept up with more! Write me, Debbie
Update for 2005: Social Activities Director at Pelican Roost RV Park, aboard Mayport Naval Station. Wonderful job! Can anyone say" "...toga, toga, toga!". Yes, we had a toga party, super bowl parties, Cinco de Mayo...My boss used to say I would host a party for an envelope opening. Anyway, great fun, great friends, great times. Still no progress on my golf game. Still can not hold my head down! Living the American dream - children grown - financially secure - finally able to live my life for me. Not where I intended to be in life, but where life has taken me. Still want the big house, the white picket fence - wait a minute - I had that....and I sold it and walked away. Anyway, children grown, with lives of their own. Yeah - still want the big house, the white picket fence again. Oh, well.
Life
What can I say? Went to University of Maryland, married Bill Clement in 1972, supported him through Dental School, moved to Jacksonville, Florida, when he became a Navy Dentist there, had two children, did tons of volunteer work, came to a parting of the ways, divorced in 1990. Held a variety of jobs, algebra teacher, insurance policy processor, Accounting Administrator... Now, children grown, sold the house, bought a 36 foot RV and am traveling the country. A few regrets, great memories. Looking forward to whatever tomorrow will bring. So much joy and happiness still to be experienced. Write me! Thanks.
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