George McMurtry:
CLASS OF 1961
Lincoln-Sudbury Regional High SchoolClass of 1961
Sudbury, MA
George's Story
George is from Beaufort, South Carolina. George is married. George's schools include Lincoln-Sudbury Regional High School. George later attended Tufts University, Boston College. George works(ed) at NanoAndMore USA. OFFICIALLY RETIRED AS OF 12-31-15. I'm actively trying to join advisory and director boards and have 2 possibilities that I am already in touch with. I need to stay active in business - it is part of me.
Went to work at IBM for 6 months until I had to show up in Pensacola for Naval Flight Officer Candidate School in February of 1967. Ended up in the F-4 Phantom for two cruises to Vietnam on the USS Kitty Hawk. Accumulated 225 combat missions and over 300 carrier landings on the Kitty Hawk alone. Got out in August 1971 as a Lt. and went back to work at IBM. Saw too many people still basically in the same spot as when I left them and decided I needed a different way to catch up with where I thought I could go. I started 6 high tech companies and am finally going into semi-retirement from my last company. I live on Lady's Island, SC, next to Beaufort and across the street from the Intracoastal Waterway and it is a wonderful place to live and retire. I'm still singing in a barbershop chorus (Beaufort Harbormasters) and quartet (Tidal Fource). Yes it is four and not for. My wife Ann of 47 years has Alzheimers and is approaching her 12th year with this hideous disease.I will lose her in one to two years and don't know how I will deal with the emptiness. Golf, singing, target shooting, hunting and fishing (pond loaded with large mouth bass and crappie on my property) help me to survive and you get over the guilt trip when you know the statistic that 40% of caregivers go first. You have to keep yourself both mentally and physically healthy to be of any help to your loved one. Our two kids live in California where we spent 35 years before moving to Lady's Island 10 years ago. We make trips out there to see them and the grand kids. With Ann's condition we made our last trip there together 4 months ago. I'll update this story as it unfolds.
I placed Ann in an assisted living facility one week ago to see if it is the time to leave her there or bring her back home until it has to happen. Toughest decision I have ever made. I am in constant contact with her brother and sister-in-law who are wonderful people who visited us just before she entered the facility. They have continuously told me they will back my decision. So why do I still feel like a heel? The easiest way out is to bring her back home until it absolutely has to happen and I feel like a heel all over again. I have to end today's entry on a positive note.
I added two photos today to show my 2 Porsche "babies". They help to keep me busy with their upkeep (how do you spell $$$$$) I felt I had to do something different than feeling morose. There is a 1965 356SC Coupe that has climbed through the $100,000 value quite a while ago. (Yes I still drive it.) and a 1983 911SC Coupe with just a few mechanical improvements that allow me to blow most late 80's ...Expand for more
and 90's equivalents off the road.
If any of you have been through this with a loved one with Alzheimer's I would appreciate any input.
Ann is back home as it was apparent that she was no better off being in assisted living. During the two weeks she was there I came to terms with what will put her there permanently. If either of us is in danger, Ann because I can no longer keep her safe in our house, or me if I start to lose my health, I must stay healthy in order to protect her properly.
Update 5/6/16: We passed our 48th anniversary back in February and things have become much worse with Ann's Alzheimer's. The sun-downing is horrible. She doesn't know where she is or who I am at least 50% of the time. She is lost inside the house and is wandering at night which results in no sleep for me. The time has come and she will be going into Summit Place, an assisted living facility in Beaufort on May 23rd. No matter when the decision is made, no matter how far along your loved one is with dementia, I still feel awful, as if I am letting her down, abandoning her. Summit Place is less than 15 minutes away and I will visit her daily. That won't make up for the 48+ years we have shared the same house, the same bed as husband and wife. ALSO - I am now fully retired.
It became too much as I was getting no sleep as she would get up in the middle of the night and I would awake with a start to find her before she got into trouble - every night. She is now back into Summit Place as of May 23 and after two months she is acclimating but slowly. She is participating in the daily activities and thinks I live in an apartment - has no memory of our house. I visit everyday at different times so the staff doesn't know when I will show up. So far, so good. I am very satisfied that she is being well taken cared for. I know it is best for both of us but I still feel like a heel. I guess there is no way around that when an unstoppable disease gets in the way of living with your life partner.
November 7, 2016: I lost her today. I watched her last breath and I now hurt more than I have ever even come close to in my life. Her blood sugar became uncontrollable and I watched her last lovely smile and glint in her eye yesterday afternoon before I told the doctor to stop all heroic measures. They loaded her with morphine and Atavan and she died without pain as I held her. I am alone and hurting, My son is taking the red eye from LAX and I will pick him up in Savannah tomorrow morning. I can't believe I will never see her smile again. Never another kiss. Never another hug. My God I loved her. My life partner can never be replaced. She left me way too early.
It is December 7th and I visited Ann's grave site in the National Cemetery here in Beaufort and thought about my holding her face in my hands as she passed at 2:15PM one month ago. I am keeping myself busy with singing and golf and volunteering, I turn the TV on whenever I am in the house so there is background noise, otherwise the silence is deafening. Someday I will join her again.
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