Jacqueline Marx:  

There once was a man from Nantucket. Now that I have your attention, One of my first jobs was at Pogue's Department Store in Cincinnati where I got paid $4 an hour as a talking reindeer during the Christmas holidays. What I gleefully remember most about it is scaring the crap out of a classmate who had been telling anti-Semitic jokes at school. He stuck out like a sore thumb as he stood in line with his best buddy, along with hundreds of five-year-olds, to see the reindeer. I was completely disguised, so in a fake reindeer voice (or what I thought was a good fake reindeer voice) I used his name, called him on the carpet for telling those tasteless jokes, and threatened to leave his stocking empty if he kept doing it. He ran out of there like a bat out of hell. So guess what happened to this Christmas reindeer later on? She became a Hanukkah angel: Twelve years ago I was invested as a Cantor-in-Israel. "Duh, is that like a singing rabbi?" Not exactly. Interfaith explanation: Picture the associate pastor, the music minister, and the head soloist all rolled up into one individual, and...that's 1/2 of my job. The other half is cradle-to-grave life cycle officiation, just as you would expect from a rabbi. That's right, I'm licensed to marry and bury and (or hatch, match and dispatch, as the saying goes). The third half is teaching: Hebrew school, adult education, and Bar / Bat Mitzvah tutoring. My one and only reg...Expand for more