James Federici:
CLASS OF 1960
Paterson Eastside High SchoolClass of 1960
Paterson, NJ
James's Story
Life
Q&A2)My wife has a fat,ugly,ornery frog-named Jimmy.Hmm,I wonder.Is she being sarcastic & mean-spirited,or is she just being associative?3)USA-Haworth,NJ4)Thank you for asking.I am currently impecunious,devoid of funds,impoverished,destitute. Current occupation-mendicant.5)Happily,gleefully,joyfully married to the Owner of the Frog(O of F).Read about my Dream Vacation for a more complete description of my future vision of Utopia.6)I have 2 handsome,athletic,successful boys,ages 26&29 who are spoiled beyond belief.The O of F is responsible for that.7)I have 4 cars,an Edsel,a Kaiser,a Henry J,& a Packard.All 4 sit in my driveway,inoperable because of the unavailability of parts.For local transportation I use a Schwinn.For long distance transportation I use my thumb.I really expected things to be a little different at this stage of my life,but I was wrong again.The O of F is a perpetual hindrance,in addition to being a colossal pain in the rear.8) My life is very tranquil,very idyllic.I want for nothing.I am totally content,especially when I'm dreaming about life after my Dream Vacation.9)My Free Time is spent with my family.I also tend to dream a lot,to counterbalance the effects of spending so much time with my family.10)My Dream Vacation would be a trans-oceanic cruise where the O of F very mysteriously,very inexplicably,& very tragically disappears,& all traces of inculpating evidence are Lost At Sea.Why do you think I spend so much time dreaming?11)I joined Classmates because I want to nostalgically reminisce about the happiness & good times that we shared at EHS.I'm trying to recapture that magic with those who made it all possible,& who were the best friends that I've ever had.Ladies and Gentlemen,I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about you,&I genuinely wish you the best of everything.I hope to see all of you at our next reunion.It will be my honor.Also I joined to meet "Chippies."14)My gender is Dedicated Hermaphrodite.When it is...Expand for more
most propitious for me to be an Alpha Male,then that's what I am.When the situation calls for a Fetching Female,then I transform myself.When other boys were playing football,I played tennis.When other boys made coat racks& bookcases in shop class,I made dollhouses. When other boys were marveling at The Terminator & Conan the Barbarian,I watched Tootsie,Some Like It Hot&Mrs.Doubtfire. What more compelling evidence can there be?17)If I won $100M,I would give $50M to my 2 boys.They have unconscionably managed to plow through most of my life savings with amazing ease.I would spend the remaining $50M on dance lessons.I estimate that it would take about that much money for me to learn how to do an acceptable box step. 18)My only friends are proprietors of pizzerias,& other fast food eateries.They idolize me.They describe me as gluttonous & perpetually ravenous.19)My favorite types of movies are romance movies& action movies because they are vicarious sublimations for what is NOT going on in my life. 20)My favorite indoor hobbies are wrestling with the O of F,&other, especially when things are looking up,which is more rare nowadays than finding T-Rex teeth in the backyard. 21)My favorite outdoor activity is running,when my heart,blood vessels,lungs,knees,&ankles are all functioning simultaneously
which is more rare nowadays than finding Brontosaurus bones in the front yard. 22)I meet my friends at eating events.We share
a common bond&usually several pizzas,Big Macs,Whoppers,and Tacos.23)I'm still living,I think,barely.The O of F is the bane of my existence&will most certainly cause a premature, unhappy demise,unless my Dream Vacation liberates me.24)My biggest pet peeve is getting scolded,chastised,rebuked, humiliated,ridiculed&laughed at when I get my annual physical exam.And I thought that doctors were taught to be compassionate,understanding,& empathetic.Not mine.And he
trained at a NY hospital- The Milton Berle School Of Medicine at the Copacabana.
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