Janet Ellen Estep:  

Edited: January 2018 I didn't have to move back to NJ. Thank heavens! My daughter found a nanny, just barely before I closed up my house and bought my plane ticket. We all survived. After a fashion. My daughter has a job she loves, as Editor in Chief of a national magazine. My son in law facilitated her career as a stay-at-home-dad. This role-reversal wouldn't have happened in our time. I wonder how many of our classmates have come into their own, now, in the last half of their lives? Have we ever been granted such freedom, liberty and experience, before? My old gray head is a passport that I'd have activated earlier had only I known. Children in stores recognize the grandmother in me and smile. Strangers acknowledge me as a familiar. I can be outlandish but never threatening and I wear what I want, and say what I feel, and only a touch of arthritis, limits what I can do. The irony isn't lost to us at the Senior Center, as we perform aerobic moves to our old rock n' roll standards. What a validation that those standards are enjoying 2nd life, as are we. Re-purposed, recycled and renewed. Right after 9/11, my daughter mentioned “meetup.com” but I told her I wasn't interested in dating! She said “I don't think this is a dating thing?” Well, I wasn't interested until I'd slipped into a bad depression after the loss of my longtime cat-companion, and the betrayal by a trusted friend, all in a short span of time. Hearkening back to my Virginia roots, I put on makeup (lots of it!), bought a short skirt and visited the Portland meetup site to find the scariest event. No Sky-Diving was featured, so I picked the next-best: Speed Dating. I knew that if I survived that stark confrontation with strangers, I could occupy any space, anywhere, with confidence. The plan was to avoid questions about myself, but barrage my opponent with questions and exhaust the time until I could escape. I know it was very rude of me to misrepresent myself as a serious applicant - and as 10 years younger than my actual age - but I was desperate and a little crazy. My only slip came when someone asked a question about my family. I can't resist talking about my daughter and he asked how old she is? Without thinking, I answered truthfully. He said “Oh! You must have been very young when your had her!” Opps. “Oh, yes. But I was a good mother, nonetheless.” Bless his heart, he said he didn't doubt it(!), and moved on. That trial by immersion, worked, and for the next year, I joined every remotely interesting meetup, before whittling it down to Portland Weekly Wine blind tastings, lectures on everything from CRISPR to the sex life of Voles, Humanitarian & Secular meetups in taverns & coffee houses, art reviews & events, social happy hours (cheap food!), and occasionally, a group dinner at a prestigious restaurant, or a “Brain Workshop”. Of the groups, I've enjoyed the company of the winos & secular humanists the most. Smart, funny and irreverent. They make great friends. I'm usually the oldest but they seem to accept me.. Upon reflection, I recognize a serious flaw in my personality: the discernment needed to select a good human companion, although, I am pretty good with cats. I don't think I ever would have dated, much less, married, if meetup had been invented in 1964. If ever I weaken, my concern for changing the dynamics of the meetup group, dispels the attraction. The person with whom I bought this house, is my cautionary tale. I wasted years living with someone I didn't like, much less, love, and won't do it again. The most fun is indulging my interest in everything. Meetup.com introduced me to lectures and activities in unfamiliar fields through Science on Tap, Science Pub, The Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI), and Oregon Health Science University (OHSU) which find, and secure speakers in diverse fields. The only requirement for a lecturer, seems to be intimate familiarity with the subject, and skillful, passionate presentation of their subject. For $10-15 per lecture, I've learned about: Chemistry: I didn't understand a word of the lecture, but was on the edge of my seat the entire time! Genetic-specific developments partially phasing out chemo, surgery and radiation in cancer treatments up at Oregon Health Sciences University! No more chemo, or surgery or radiation! (CRISPR) The Missoula floods, now there was a cataclysm. 'Rump's election has nothing on the floods. The relation between the brain and music; how addiction occurs; how geckos climb glass. A Canadian scientist discovered that specific sand with sharp aspect can filter almost all the harmful bacteria and parasites from the most polluted water and gifted his discovery to the world. Using this technology, a group has been teaching communities in Iraq, Africa etc. to clean their own water and has dramatically reduced the incidence of illness and death. Our local Mercy Corp lecturers are returned from areas of horrendous privation where their aim is to provide sustenance to the needy, not to take sides in disputes. To facilitate this goal, they make friends of all the community leaders and local warlords, and at each checkpoint, MC teams politely asks “who is your leader?” then request that person be called to allow passage for this MC team. A slow, but effective expedient. Robotics. I am reassured that it's just a matter of time before my dream vacuum comes on line which will operate without the touch of a human hand.. And I mean a REAL vacuum, not one of those wimpy disks the cat rides on. My home is designed for guests. A party animal, I host the big party on the 4th of July (200+), and smaller gatherings on Easter, St Pat's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve, birthdays, wedding and baby showers, although, one time, festivities were interrupted when the guest of honor was taken to the hospital for her birthing event. Because I rent the lower portion of my home and it's not open to my guests, our weather limits the number of guests. During summer, the overflow spills out onto the upper deck, partially uncovered, and the yard.. It's like a party-cycle: clean house (par...Expand for more