Jason Schmidt:  

After high school I moved from being an under-achiever to being a total non-achiever with no stops for college along the way, which will surprise absolutely none of you. The consequences of laziness and lack of motivation should have been predictable, but I knew so much then. ;-) My plans to be a writer fell apart when I discovered that I'd actually be expected to WRITE, which is simply unjust and unfair. I figured being smart and talented was enough -- who knew I'd be required to apply myself?! I flirted with glamorous homelessness for a time, but the hardscrabble romance of the street involved less showering than I liked. Eventually the siren song of grocery retail called to me, and now I sell food to fat people, booze to drunks, and cigarettes to the blackened-of-lung. The glory of a dead-end daily grind is something to behold. I've managed to narrowly avoid kids and marriage by being impossible to live with and and as boring as hell. Combined with a distinct lack...Expand for more