Joel Simonson:  

Since the early 90's life hasn't treated me as well as it should have. Actually I haven't treated life as well as I should have! I've spent the last 2 decades in and out of King/Pierce Co. jail like a revolving door. I've done time for such remedial crimes as m.i.p., dwi, hot wiring a Buick LeSabre, kidnapping, steeling an old women's purse, beating the crap out of a Spock lookalike, riding an RM-250 dirt bike on Hwy 410, car bombing, tipping over porta-potties, weed/coke posession, smokie burnout from stoplights, owning a puppy mill, tagging an overpass, sneaking onto Ft. Lewis Army base, steeling beer/wine from an Albertsons, shooting out headlights of cars at Southcenter Mall, public drunkiness (9 times and counting), clubbing a black man over the head with a 5 iron at High Cedars Golf Course, poaching native birds, mooning the governor at a labor rally, knowingly spreading herpes, spitting in a gas attendants face, pissing in the Bonney Lake fountain, speeding, loosing my mind in a 7-11 on 2 hits o...Expand for more