Kenneth Burtness:  

Life Swimming from the High School River to the College Ocean I sank and walked a while on the bottom, dancing, marching, kissing glow fish and searching for existential pearls. When I bobbed to the surface I was wearing a uniform heading for Southeast Asia. At the last minute thinking my mouth and sideburns were not military enough they diverted me north to the frozen tundra to learn to be a Popsicle. After 3 months without seeing the sun and 12 months without women I returned to the lower 48, grew a beard and learned how to splash in a Graduate Pool without drowning. God handed me a towel and then put me on fast forward sending me to the islands, giving me family, home and a job. Blink, I'm sixty-four along with Paul McCartney and Harrison Ford. Today I find myself Hawaiian Retired (2 jobs down to 1), divorced but still close to my Xs, with loving friends, dogs and cats, and a house close to the beach. Best of all I...Expand for more