Monica Zur:
CLASS OF 1982
Pinelands High SchoolClass of 1982
Tuckerton, NJ
Southern Regional High SchoolClass of 1982
Manahawkin, NJ
Monica's Story
I went to Stockton for two years, but didn't like the fact that it was a Liberal Arts college and wasted a full ride. I worked several part time jobs there, one being a singer in a top 40 band. I love the fact that I can say I was a professional singer. There, I met my first husband, Jeff, from Howell, NJ had a whirl wind romance and we got married 8 months after we met. Eileen and Miriam were in our wedding. We had two children, and I babysat other children until they went to school full time.
Jeff graduated and became a school teacher (Social Studies) in East Windsor, so we moved to Bordentown City. (He earned the Governor's Teacher's Recognition Award and had lunch with former Governor Whitman, who he couldn't stand, but was honored by.)
We were married for 19 years when we got divorced. (He became addicted to prescription meds in 1998 and I gave it 5 years before I filed for divorce.) He died two years later of a heart attack, alone on New Year's Eve.
We parted amicably and I give Steve Gill the credit for urging me to do so and thank him for being my friend through that rough time. Our divorce was final on our actual 19th anniversary and Jeff took me to dinner on Seaside Heights boardwalk afterwards.
Anyway, in 1990 we moved to Jackson (found a rent-to-own house and it was close to my in-laws) and my father (who lived in Elizabeth) died of Leukemia two years later. With his insurance money we bought a three bedroom ranch with an in-ground pool, full basement, fire place and a Florida room.
With the youngest in first grade, I got a part time job in town hall in the building department. Eventually, there was a full time opening in the Tax Assessor's Office, where I was for five years. Then, I got board and asked for a transfer and was moved to the Municipal Clerk's Office. Within months, my boss sent me to take "Clerks" classes through Rutgers and three years later passed the State exam and received my Certification as a Municipal Clerk.
It wasn't easy coming home to two children who needed a ride to different towns for wrestling, baseball, football, soft ball, marching band, or cheer leading after working full time (with three part time night recording secretary jobs and giving voice lessons at a dance studio two nights a week) when your husband is no longer working, "stoned" and paranoid and argumentative to try to study after making and cleaning up dinner and the house in general; but I did it and give myself a lot of credit for earning an 89. (And I never want to do it again!) After a few recent job transfers for higher titles, I am now the Municipal Clerk in North Hanover Twp.
My son, Jeffrey, placed four times in the NJSIAA Wrestling Tournament in high school and I sang the National Anthem his senior year in the old Atlantic City Convention Center. (I also sang it for the Blue Claws AAA Baseball Team in Lakewood) He's finishing up Rowan next year, majoring in Marketing. Right now, he's taking 18 credits and doing an Internship while maintaining a B average. God Bless him.
My daughter, Leona, went to Stockton, didn't like it (I warned her) went to Rutgers, didn't like it and wound up in Nursing Program at Burlington County College. But she met the love of her life, got pregnant, miscarried and they tried again successfully, so now I'm a grandma.
Five days before my divorce was final, May 27, 200...Expand for more
3, I met Jack. He had been married from 1978 to 1982, also has a boy and a girl (five years older then my two) had two serious relationships, but never remarried. We met in a bar in Jackson. After filing for divorce in October of 2002, I moved out to a rental home February 2003. The kids were driving now and I was alone, a lot! I became depressed, missing work and crying. With Steve's help, I kicked myself in the butt, and started to take $15 every two weeks and buy myself clothes or something I wanted, and every other other week I would treat my self to karaoke; there were a lot of regulars who would go, some were performers from Great Adventure, so it was entertaining, not painful to the ear. (I've won a DVD player, $100, $250 and a managment contract with HipHop/R&B Company, which I declined.)
Jack had moved to Jackson from Carteret also in February and his neighbor kept hounding him to get out and meet people so finally he agreed. He's not big on drinking, but had a couple that night, which when he heard me singing, gave him the courage to come talk to me. The last thing I was looking for was a guy and guys never, ever approached me at a bar, (I look too serious when I 'm not smiling? Just look at my "Then" photo! Maybe people think I'm stuck up?) so his talking to me was weird. Basically I was congenial, but not encouraging.
Learning that I would do karaoke there often, he went back looking for me the following two weeks, but I didn't go. (Perhaps trying to avoid him?) The third week, I did go, with my ex-husband no less, and he wasn't there. The fourth week, we both went . I remember sitting down next to a guy whose back was to me talking to a pretty blond, ordered my Coors Light and getting a pang in my stomach when he turned toward me and I saw it was him...that PITA (pain in the a_ _) I was also surprised how he dropped the pretty blond like a hot potato to talk to me. (My mother made me feel inferior to blondes!)
Anyway, after a short time, in the middle of singing a song, I realized he was cute and let myself relax and gave him a chance. I am so glad I did, we've been apart, but are inseparable.
He (as I say under his photo) is my soul mate. If I question anything, like what should I make for dinner, I wonder if he needs cigarettes, should I pick up Chipwiches, I wonder if he wants to visit this particular person this weekend, all I have to do is ask myself the question and that is always his answer. It's really uncanny. If we need half and half or something, even something odd like AAA batteries, and I am not near a store if I think hard enough, Jack pick up AAA bateries, I swear he'll bring it home. I've tried it a few times. Most recently, it was an Italian sub. And, I might add, he hates going to stores.
He is a truck driver and builds model railroad layouts on the side. Mostly table top trains. We have a defunct website at: JAZdesigns dot info. There's a link to My Space to see a video or two. You can google North Hanover Township in Jacobstown, NJ and get in touch with me through our website.
I have never been happier. There was a time, when I kept getting this message, over and over, You make your own destiny...and I didn't understand how that could be done. You're married, kids, house, job. How do you change all that? But it can be done, I did it. Life really does begin at 40!
Register for Free to view all details!
Reunions
Photos
