Ray Commisso:
CLASS OF 1976
Chaminade High SchoolClass of 1976
Mineola, NY
Columbia UniversityClass of 1980
New york, NY
Ray's Story
Life
I have lead a dynamic life, regularly translating ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, and writing award-winning soap operas.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trumpet playing, and can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. I cook ÃÂThirty-Minute BrowniesÃÂ in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. On a Canadian vacation in 1984, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. While attending an OAS Conference in 1989, I single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants, using only a hoe and a glass of water. I am soon to be the subject of numerous Internet documentaries.
I studied abstract art at the graduate level, published under a nom de plume, and am considered to be a ruthless bookie. I am a private citizen, yet receive fan mail. Children trust me.
Last summer, I...Expand for more
perfected the art of hurling squash racquets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield all in one day, and still had time to refurbish my entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every non-dairy item in my local Pathmark. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA, but cannot talk about them. I sleep once a week, and when I do sleep, I sleep on a chair. When I am bored, I build suspension bridges to scale in my backyard. On Wednesday evenings for the last two years, I have repaired electrical appliances for my neighbors, free of charge.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. To let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I have judged cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, tamed lions in Mozambique, and photographed swimwear contests at the Kremlin.
Its been a long, strange trip from Chaminade.
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