Ron Seamans:  

CLASS OF 1964
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Linden High SchoolClass of 1964
Linden, NJ

Ron's Story

No I am NOT really Wally the Wall Monster... but I bet I had you GREEN WITH ENVY FOR A SECOND OR TWO! I am not surprised that no one remembered me from Linden High, as that dis-privilege was only open to a select group of individuals whose powers of insignificance were so well-honed we might line-jump at an Elvis Concert and NOT be noticed doing so. (This skill still serves me well at All-You-Can-Eat-Buffets. "What the hell, was that big rushing wind, Madge... and weren't there some deep-fried scallops on the steam table?") - Boy am I so glad the Red Sox have more World Series Championships than the Yankees this Millennium! The questionnaire did not give me a place to check on the animals we have at home - six members of PETA we keep chained in a basement kennel. Oh well, I suppose it is somewhat unique! (Strangely, they've acquired a preference for Alpo.) Note the sign posted: "Please do not feed the ex-vegans!" And the music category didn't offer much either... after burning out my brain in the 60's and 70's on pretentious folk and self-absorbed psychedelics returned eventually to the seminal classics of the 50's.... a capella Doo Wop rules! As for modern music, now I ask you, what/who the heck is a "Diddy"? If I could improve my home, I'd remodel the dungeon and add an Iron Maiden. My dream home would be Fenway Park. How do I hope old friends remember me? By paying me the $72,735.81 each one of them owes me! Childhood memory I'll never forget: After a snowstorm, when I was about five or six all these older kids (mainly the girls... the guys were in hysterics) going ballistic when I put breasts on a snowman(woman?) we were making. Heck I had five really older sisters, seemed normal to me!!!! Favorite foods: hamburgers, ground charred bovine on buns, cooked chopped beef placed between bread, diced cow/steer striated muscle served with baked leavened stone-milled wheat products... heck, even White Castles!(maybe ESPECIALLY W.C.!) Least favorite food: three week aged pork tartar, dill weed and sliced okra in room-temperature coffee yogurt on sun-dried tomato garlic bread sandwich ... betcha can't eat one. Betcha can't even WATCH someone eat one! My first crush? <hear my SERIOUSLY unrequited deep sigh!!!> It was in 5th grade and a few years beyond. Geez, I really didn't mean to get revenge... for last I heard Mary Ann M. had died laughing at both me and at any such ridiculous thoughts on my part... I suspect she always pictured me as one of those grotesque lawn ornament figures. What do attractive young women have against GNOMES anyway? Oh well, I shall never blame her, after all, she WAS 5" taller than me. But, you know...to this day, when I think of those dimples when she smiled, it STILL makes my knees weak and my voice tremble! God.... please.... grant she's had a WONDERFUL life! Heroes: Davy Crockett, Ted Williams, Bob Feller, Ronald Reagan, Eric Liddell, John Adams, any pitcher who beats the Yankees, Margaret Thatcher, John Wayne, Tom Selleck, Jocko Henderson (the 1280 Rocket DJ ) and the GREAT Jean Shepherd, (the male radio personality, not the female country western singer) Garrison Keillor is a pitiful and pathetic talk radio pretender. R.I.P. Shep... miss you, but if there be radio transmission in God's Heaven, I'll tune into WOR! GEEZ... who d' thunk I'da ended my life having gone to more than a dozen Kenny Vance Concerts? Boy did I HATE just about every second I put in in school and college, but it was easier than really thinking about life! However, I would d...Expand for more
espise school even more nowadays now that they're run on progressive fascist advocacy and the goal of seeing youth grow up with self-esteem from merely counting themselves as possible contestants on American Idol. Remember: PAPER, POWDER, BALL, PAPER!!! In 10 years, I hope to be raptured. I'm going to get there by Christ's grace alone. p.s. Anyone want to buy a non-electric typewriter, a file card index or a rotary-dial telephone built into a day-glo lava lamp base? I'll throw in two 1910 Fruitgum Company 45's, three unused Sea Monkey packets, an autographed photo of Yvette Mimieux, and a mood ring. p.p.s Did anyone other than me have the feeling that Yvette Mimieux and Carol Lynley were actually the same woman? Some more of these dorky Classmate Story Wizard responses: I always wanted to be a U.S. 7th Cavalry Officer when I grew up. My family and friends thought that was a great idea. As it turns out, they were always hoping I had been there at the Little Big Horn!. WILDEST THING: I am so bland, heck, if I were part of a rainbow... I'd have been GREY ! The one person from my past who I'd most like to see again is MY FATHER, because I OWE HIM THOUSAND APOLOGIES.... BIGGEST SURPRISE: No matter how old, achey, forgetful, fat and bald I get... I still feel like a 13 year old. TEACHER I'D MOST LIKE TO SEE: Aristotle... or maybe my bowling instructer from Jersey Lanes. IF I WON $100 MILLION, I'd GIVE: 10% to church 20% to pro-life charity 30% to Conservative Think Tanks 10% to brothers/sisters & families 10% to USO/Toys for Tots/InjuredVets 15% to my wife, so I'd not waste it the REST on my own batting cage, MARX playsets and White Castle hamburgers !! Since this IS fantasy, and this is TAX-FREE, not a CENT goes to the socialist OBASMIC government. TO BE TRULY HAPPY: We can have little idea of Heaven's Bliss, but let us say playing sandlot baseball with Ted Williams, Jesus, Ronald Reagan, Bob Feller, Jean Shepherd, my Dad and brothers in a pickup game against George Washington and eight other historical figures or saints of his choice. Recently escaped DEATH from a lung saddle embolism: life can be had in this world and the next, yet even those far more saintly than myself rightly do not seek cashing in God's gift of Life in this all too Fallen world. Favorite song: Tonight Tonight by the MELLO-TONES!!!! ps. So what if none of you remember me... I've been trying to reach that state myself. pps. Have never owned, nor hopefully shall ever own a cell phone, only for about 7 minutes was on VisagePedia... oh it's called PhaseBook or something like it, isn't it. Oh, Yes I am the Ron Seamans voted unanimously into the Luddite Hall of Fame three years ago on that 1-0 tally by the guy who started it back in 1991... when he heard I, like he, still play games on my ATARI 800. Although, at this age, I only occasionally PING, but never seem to muster a PONG anymore. YES... I WAS that guy wearing the GOLDWATER HAT all you Joisey Democrats threw gum at during timeouts at the football games! THANKS... never had to buy my own - yet if you ever get the unlikely chance again please remember I prefer SPEARMINT. By the way, before any of you think I was ahead of my times by quite a few years in claiming above to be GREY - NOT that kind of GREY.(or 49 other preposterous Shades!) Man... society gets more debased and twisted each day. H-E-Double Hockey Stick, even Disney World will soon be opening a section called GEHENNA-LAND next fall.... and FALLEN WE HAVE!
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