Steve Linnell:  

Following my graduation from Papillion LaVista High School and a rather adventuresome visit to upstate New York, I returned to Nebraska, moving to Downtown Omaha. Freed of past inhibitions and burdens, I was led by the Dark Spirits to my induction into the Church of Satan. I found their encouragement of lustful, earthly persuits to be quite cathartic. These escapades became the central endeavor of my life for the following three years, after which the Church politely but firmly asked me to disavow my membership to them, saying they appreciated my enthusiasm, but were unable to reconcile their impression of me as being, and I quote, "a little weird." Undaunted, I instantly formed my own cult, The Order of the Gyrating Floozies, a somewhat pious, sanctimounious gathering of born again (and again, and again) Christians who found their path to enlightenment through late-night interperative dance and inspired chanting on some of Omaha's somewhat more populated urban street corners. Unfortunately, this congregation was foredoomed to failure, as many of our members were arrested for prostitution or public indecency within mere days of their initiation. The narrow-minded and spiritually misguided philistines of the Omaha Police Department were...Expand for more