Steven Collins:  

WHY ME LORD Lets see, where do I start? I remember as a little boy going to Sunday school with my mom and dad but I never saw anyone ever read the bible. We had one of those big ones that sat on the coffee table that no one was allowed to touch because we were told lightning would strike us if we played with it. Well my mother and father seperated when I was around 8 yrs old, which later lead to a divorce; a very very ugly one I might add. I remeber as a little boy lying in my bed at night crying and asking GOD to be my daddy because my real dad had to leave and I missed him. Be careful what you say and do around your kids because they will remember. I won't go into details but I have never heard of such a divorce going on from anyone I have known or seen in all my years. Well, my sister went to live with my dad and I stayed with my mom. Mom had to work two jobs so that we could have a home to live in so that left me with lots of spare time. By the age of twelve I was already experimenting with drugs, alcohol, and pornography. I didn't get this from my mom, I picked it up from kids at school and the streets. At 15 I was dealing drugs to my friends supplied by my boss at a restaurant where I worked. At the age of 16 I overdosed on drugs and quit that for fear of my life but still continued with alcohol and porn. I got my girlfriend pregnant and her mom suggested an abortion because we where two lost kids with no clue about life. I don't remember adoption ever being brought up as an option and I had no clue that we were actually killing a baby but GOD showed me this in his word later on in life after I got saved. Before I was even 17 I had already lost my license privilege twice and spent a few hours in jail. I wasn't a bad kid, so to speak, I just had a big void in my life I was trying to fill but didn't know how. I remember a friend of my Grandmother use to call me and ask me to play a song by Christ Christoferson called " Why Me Lord " She was planting seeds in my life and I never knew it. Well at 18 my dad ask me to move to AZ so that he and I could have a chance to get to know each other. He introduced me to the night club scenes which was a big difference from the old man bars back home so I thought I was in heaven, little did I know this is where Satan would really open up the world of sex, drugs and alcohol to me. I worked to party and I partied to work, it was all I knew for the next 12 yrs of my life. At 18 I got a girl pregnant in AZ and walked out on her for the parting life style. At 19 I married a girl just to get an annulment by time we got back from Hawaii for the party life style. At 20 I got another girl pregnant in a one-night fling in the bars. At 20 I got my oldest son's mom pregnant again then walked out on her to get involved with the girl next door and got her pregnant, I married the girl next door, but after two years of her doing to me what I did to other women we got a devorce. I got involved again with another girl and got her pregnant, after 3 yrs we split. Can you see a pattern here of destruction not only in my life but now kids, women and everyone involved? Well GOD blessed me with the privilege of having one of my kids in my life and that was my daughter Kimberly. Thank GOD for grandparents because none of our kids today and yesterdays would have ever made it being raised by people like me. " The blind leading the blind. " Well when I was 32 yrs old my daughter Kimberly was 8 yrs old and her and my mom would go to church on Sundays. One morning she was all dressed up and going to church with Grandma and she says, “Daddy, I know what you need in life, you need Jesus. Why don't you come to church with Grandma and me?” and I said “No, that's ok honey daddy is fine you go with grandma I'm going out tonight”. Well all I can tell you is that little girl must have been praying for her daddy that night because I couldn’t have any fun at the club and came home early. The next Sunday I figured I would go to church with my mom and daughter that I might find a girl to love and love us, not knowing Jesus was the one who needed to fill this void in my life. Anyhow I throw on some clothes and head to church to find my new girl so I thought. Well I go into church and I normally sit in the back and do the scoping out thing but today the ushers ask me to come up to the front. I remember saying, “No, I just want to sit in the back it's ok”. But GOD had other plans in my life that morning. I don't remember what all that pastor preached on but it was about trying to fill the void in your life that is only meant for GOD and how what we do in life that is a sin and that Jesus, His son, died for us and he wants to come into our life and change us and fill that void that only He can fill but we have to invite Him in. I tell people the spiritual war that was going on inside me was like that cartoon where the good angel is on one shoulder and the bad angel is on the other and the devil is sa...Expand for more