Timothy Maguire:  

CLASS OF 1975
Timothy Maguire's Classmates® Profile Photo
Warwick, RI
Warwick, RI

Timothy's Story

well,,, it's about tyme eye told my story so all ewe insomniacs kin git some sleep! cuz if my story don't boar you then mebbe the pig will! Well, eye wuz born back in fiffy five (thats nineteen fiffy five) for the dopes that don't no bitter and speakin of bitter thats about what i am as of whenever. I mean the freakin liberals, what the... well lets all hate america just cuz we liberated europe in the second oh! wait the first world war as well, and saved the chinese from the japs that were overrunning there country in the second one. Well, thats no reason to think we are any better than them! (for censoreship reasons let me say) BULLCRAP!! we are better than them So, San Fransicko wants to remove the toys from happy meals cuz that will kep the kids from gittin' fat. how about we tell the kids that baseball ain't some friggin' game you play while sittin' on your fat ass on the couch with a f--king joy stick in your hand. Do you think maybe, and I do mean maybe we might get back to some rational thinking in this country before it's too late? Well then the next thing i new when eye woke up from my coma it was nineneen sicky five! eye remember, oye' had to tryout for the little league baseball team!! They said I sucked and told me to go home! I said eye couldn't untill ioye reached first!! They larfed they thawt eye wuz jokin' but i wuz eye wuz jokin' Till I fell back into my (i don't remember) coma. Can you believe it wuz a nutter butter peanutt... wait a minuite..i've seen that commercial before. extra, extra, read all about it the timball wizard in a comical cure~!! I woke up! It wuz 1975! finally, I was freed from whatever it was that i wasn't freed from before. Yes, yes I remember know, I was finally freed from the repressive lib-brail indoctronation center. EYE was finally free to live the tooth. But in the end all the Colegate in the world could'nt stop the tooth from rotting under the constant bar-age of...LIBERALISM??!? see what skool did for me, eye kant even no when i spell somting wonmg. is that wite? so now every day when my kids leave the house I always tell them "Have a good day and don't let school inter-fear with...Expand for more
your education!......Is this all a dream? no tim, no it is not a dream..but wait said the fairy, fairy and that fairy was a freakin' fairy, you know, freakin' tiptowin thru the freakin' tulips!! I really needed to wake up from this coma induced coma?? So I did!! It wuz 1985! someone said the disco error was ova'. eye said that's good what the hell is disco?? I mean eye been listenin' to the82iwmjsiw when they said...the who? and I said yeah, some of the time. they said what?..I said how. the next thing eye new I was a-sleepin' back in my less than wished for COMA!! But, one must unner-stan sometime (coma good) say tarzan. so from this point on (till I come to the next point on) EYE went on comaring like a good comaphobiac does Little one know how easy it is (but dangerose) to wake up a sleeping comatose idiot. But never-the-less...the story must be told, for some of you insomniacs might still be afraid to go to sleep. I promise to try to be more boaring. (how would groucho marx respond to that?) eye don't snow, when he wakes up i'll ask him. so...reposing merrylee?? In my coma which I am beginning to enjoy more than the reality of what seems to be real...(I awoke!) 1995 blah...someone axed me if i knew what rap was? I really thought they was a-jokin' eye said fer sure i know what a rap is that s when you take the fall for someone else even thow you not guilty. he said...no man! rap is about totally degrading lyrics that have absolutely no redeeming qualities what-so-ever. I said oh...thats why bill clinton likes it. I mean, him being the present nut and all. I started looking for the way out eye new it could only be found in the coma inducing cy-ringe, I started running around like some crazed freakin' alice in freakin' wonderland...where could it be??where will it all end?? fast forward...just kidding, it's only the next day. But the good news is that I am sleeping, back in my dreamy coma. I WOKE UP!! 2010?? I am he? as you are he?as you are me? as we are altogether! It was then I knew... I was nothing more than a page torn out of a book from edgar allan poe!!!!!!!!! I'll tell you more if the pit in my pendulume will allow...
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