Wendy Turnidge:  

I was the shy, very likely kinda odd girl who came to Fourth Baptist in the 5th grade. I have an older sister Tina who was already going there a few year's before me but many likely didn't know she had and still has a very rare but serious eye disease, that is hereditary in our family, and it's called Cornea dystrophy. I thankfully never got it. It caused her to not be able to see well at all and glasses do nothing to help. Her daughter has it too, which is the only one to have it out of the 4 kids Tina has. Tina wasn't "popular" and looking back I can say that if you have an older sybling who isn't "popular", it makes it harder to make a name for yourself in school. Tina couldn't see faces, even if the person was within a few feet of her, and she didn't see the chalk board or be able to see the print in books and on tests. She struggled because in those days, they didn't have social workers in school who make up special plans for children with various disabilities. Kids thought my sister was "stuck up" or not friendly I later found out, when I bumped into people who knew her from Fourth. Most those people felt bad because as adults, I think we all can look back and think about the people we didn't reach out to or treat so nice. I can recall a few of them myself and I wonder how they are as adults. So when I think of the year's I was in school at Fourth, I have mixed feelings because I'm unsure how I was viewed. I really didn't have any group of regular friends during the year's I was at Fourth....not until 10 and 11th grade at least. As an adult, I'm a much, much different person and have an extremely different personality than I did during all my school age years. The Fourth Baptist class of 1993 had a class reunion in 2008, for which I am very honored to have attended with my husband Mark, since I went to college for my 12th grade year and didn't go to a high school, thus I do not have a graduating class I am a part of. I just went in and picked up my diploma from the public school I had to be enrolled in to be able to do Post Secondary Options. I didn't even have an open house, my family here in MN is tiny and the rest are scattered all over other states. This makes me still have dreams of never graduating, nightmares actually, because I didn't walk the line to get a diploma or have the open house like others do. I know we lost many people to the Post Secondary Options program, after the 11th grade and I remember it being said that if there ever was a class of 1993 reunion, they'd invite those who were there in the 11th grade but left to go to college for the 12th....so again, happy to at least think of this class as my graduating class :-) I have a caringbridge website that does a good job summing up some of the year's between the major life changing events that have happened in my life. It's a site for sick people, which I am one of those unfortunately but it also has pictures, personal posts, friend's posts and many pages that go over the many, many surgeries I've had and the health problems I deal with amongst other things. The site was initially set up by my now deceased husband Mark, who died at 33 years of age on January 8, 2009. Before I get to that, which will be most of this post, I have been married 3 times. First when I was 21, to a man who was 27 and graduated Northwestern College, was a youth pastor and seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. We were married 3 1/2 years and I found out (he told me) about a dark secret and "battle" he was dealing with since before I knew him. I gave him a 2nd chance after his first confession to me but 1 1/2 years later, I found out he was still dealing with that issue and I got divorced. Happily though, God brought me back to my high school sweetheart, Mark Turnidge, who was single and had been regretting for the prior almost 3 years that he ever left me. He said I was "the one" but he let me go. God surely can take a sad situation and turn it into a blessing. Mark and I married May 12, 2001. He came to Fourth Baptist on a few occasions to visit, during my 11th grade year. We had a son Lance on March 27, 2005 which was also Easter Sunday. He was our "miracle baby" since I wasn't supposed to be able to have children due to severe endometriosis. I developed major health problems in June 2006 and after many, many surgeries over the resulting years and many hospitalizations, I am "disabled" and so I don't work. I have been a Mary Kay Consultant since 1996 and during that time became a Sr. Director and won several cars. I retired from Directorship but am still very actively selling to the customers I have and continue to meet in the year's since I started. I miss Directorship but my many loyal customers keep me busy and I love it that I can take a break from a "management" position and not get fired and go back and do it again, if I ever get healed from the health issues I have. I said Mark died and want to talk more about how it all happened but I briefly need to say that I am remarried (3rd marriage I spoke of) to Mark's best friend Chris, who lived in our basement for 3 1/2 yrs. and even after he moved out, Chris was always here visiting Mark and hanging out for hours and hours. I also love to cook so I always asked Mark, who was usually on the phone with Chris anyway, to invite Chris over. Mark and Chris met at Blaine Sr. High in 1989/90 and their friendship grew over the years that followed. Chris was the first one here to help me plan the majority of the funeral, plus help do the things Mark did regarding my various pumps for pain management and tube feedings I get via my picc line, that no one else in my family understood how to operate. The nurses came to the hospital, during those days Mark was on life support, to try to teach my family and close friend's, how to operate the pumps and connect the tubing but Chris was the only one who didn't have that "dear in headlights" look on his face, as they tried to explain it all. My life has changed and I wish widowhood on no one. But sadly, as you do enter widowhood, I can say that I never expected to be scrutinized, criticized, and even verbally spoken to the way I have been with handling various details of his death. It's easy to stand 10 feet away and say what you would do, if you were in my shoes, but any day I'd happily trade my shoes with someone who has a living spouse and hasn't dealt with their death. You marry and become 1 before God and at death, that doesn't change but that other 1/2 goes into heaven. Part of me is in heaven now and part of me is here and I'm 41 year old. If I live a long life, I may not see Mark for another 50-60 years! And Lance even longer!???? But I am a believer in Christ and so was Mark so I know life ultimately is short and we each don't know our end date, so we must live and share God with everyone. This situation and how he died, has allowed me to share my faith more. He had surgery for that broken lead on Tuesday, 1-6-09 and I have a picture of him just moments before his surgery, all normal but in a hospital gown with several leads coming out from his gown and to a "box" that was in the pocket of his gown. The very last picture of him alert and not on life support. After surgery he came out all puffy and on a vent, almost brain dead just brea...Expand for more