Bryon Switala:  

My earliest memories are of going outside and enjoying the freedom I found there. There was none in my house--my father was a strict man--I was eighteen when he first said he loved me. He believed in sparing the rod¿and using the hand . . . or fist . . . or belt. I viewed him as bigger than life ¿ to me he would almost hit his head on the door jam. I was more than a little scared of him St. Leonard's was my first school¿class size, thirty people. I was required to sit in front, next to the teacher, but still couldn't concentrate on what was being said¿persistent habits that I seem to still have. My next school was Sacred Heart of Jesus and Mary; I was there from third though fifth grade. The class size got smaller, about eleven. It was there that I¿out of boredom¿taught myself the mass by rote. Catholic school taught me how to kneel, how to sit, how to cross hands¿and never to question, just listen and be quiet. It also taught me that the Church could be unforgiving--by sixth grade I was in a public school, because my mom had gotten a divorce and could no longer tithe and pay tuition. My attention span diminished to nothing in public school, and God certainly never entered my mind. My aunt would make me and my cousins go to her church when I stayed over. As we walked there, we would play games, the loser of which would be forced to go inside and listen to the sermon, being careful to bring out proof of our attendance, once that was accomplished we would depart. At one point, when she asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I don't know why, but I said that I wanted to be a priest. She, along with my cousins laughed¿after that I wanted to become a fireman . . . or a racecar driver. As an early teen, realizing there HAD to be something more, my search for God began. I was introduced to God at a Pentecostal-evangelistic church where I saw the wonder of god's love, the grace of his forgiveness, and the power of his gifts. This is where I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I truly believed that my heart was opened and that there was no wall between Jesus and I. I felt his continual presence¿peaceful, strengthening--this is the first time in my life I didn't feel alone. The church showed me the grace of God, but also the sinfulness of man¿my very own mentor let it be known that he beat his daughter when she wouldn't listen to his rules. Some people would say that after that I backslid. I believe I slid to the left. I left the church to try and find fellowship in places I never really belonged. The next few years flew by in a blur of drinking and drugs. I looked for love by both impressing as many people as I could, and also by doing as many stupid things as I could. I thought I could fight off the loneliness that had returned by dating as many girls as I could. I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams when I was twelve--we were to be together forever. After holding on to that nightmare for a few years and still always feeling alone even surrounded by groups of friends, a life shaking event was the suicide of a classmate in High school that I thought had it all going for him. By that time I had already tried twice to end my own life. This was a total call for help that was answered, but only in the last few years did I finally see that. I entered the Navy when I was nineteen years old. My "Best Friend" the guy that I did ...Expand for more