Jen Meyers:
CLASS OF 1998
Holy Cross High SchoolClass of 1998
St. catharines, ON
Eastdale Secondary High SchoolClass of 2004
Welland, ON
Confederation High SchoolClass of 1996
Welland, ON
Notre Dame High SchoolClass of 1996
Welland, ON
Centennial High SchoolClass of 1974
Welland, ON
Jen's Story
Jen is from Saint Catharines, Ontario, Canada. Jen's schools include Holy Cross High School, St. Denis School, Eastdale Secondary High School, Confederation High School, Centennial High School, Notre Dame High School.
Music Jen likes includes Alan Doyle, Mike Ford, Holly Cole Trio. Books Jen likes include Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl, Fans of Stephen King, Catcher In The Rye. Movies Jen likes include Office Space, Mary and Max, One Week. TV shows Jen likes include Comedy Inc., Band of Brothers, Combat Hospital.
One of Jen's favorite quotes is:""Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships"
~Sharon Stone
"Laughter is the best medicine. Unless of course you're a diabetic, and then insulin would probably... be... better"
~Norm Macdonald
"Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'"
"You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a a silencer?"
"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now."
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died."
~Steven Wright
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
~Carl Jung
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it."
~Oscar Wilde
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
~Ambrose Bierce
"The White House is giving...Expand for more
George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
~David Letterman
"Women are crazy, and men are stupid. And the reason women are crazy is because MEN ARE STUPID!"
~George Carlin
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."
"And then at the end of the letter i like to write P.S.- This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated."
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. Dammit Otto, youre an alcoholic. Dammit Otto, you have Lupis. One of those two doesn't sound right."
"I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something. "
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. "
"With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?!? "
"I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator 'temporarily stairs'. Sorry for the convenience."
"I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said you're gonna have to move you're blocking a fire exit. As if there were a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
~Mitch Hedberg
I'd love to trade places with a dog for a day/to know what he thinks and what he feels/Does he think about life? Does he think about God?/ Or just about his next meal, like us?
~Dan Bern, "Rolling Away"".
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