Rebecca Shambley:
CLASS OF 1992
Vacaville High SchoolClass of 1992
Vacaville, CA
Jepson Junior High SchoolClass of 1990
Vacaville, CA
Springstowne Junior High SchoolClass of 1989
Vallejo, CA
Highland Elementary SchoolClass of 1986
Vallejo, CA
Pennycook Elementary SchoolClass of 1986
Vallejo, CA
Rebecca's Story
***My Life... the not so Reader's Digest Version***
It is long, and if you don't want to know ALL about me.. do yourself a favor, and go ahead and click on something that will get you the hell out of here! :) You won't offend me:)
I'm 36 now, and I've given birth to 3 children, all boys, ranging in age from 17 to almost 4, with a 13 year old in the middle. My oldest is a student at Vaca High now. Which of course, makes me feel old as dirt. Particularly since it was MY high school:)
I've been married and divorced, and I am currently engaged to the love of my life. :)
I've lived in Europe, Texas, Georgia, and afterward came home to go to college, where I studied communications and psychology. I have the honor of saying, I won the gold medal at the State Level Debate championships in 2002.. it will always be a wonderful time in my life.
I'm currently a stay home mom as I am physically disabled, but I am VERY blessed in the life God has given me. I'm blessed to have found a man who was willing to take on something most men couldn't, and who loves me and all my children.. Which he always makes abundantly clear. :) While I would never have chosen to have health issues, it's really given me a much different perspective in life, and I do NOT regret it, nor do I say "Why me?". I know the true answer is "Why not?". It does present huge struggles for me, it's incredibly hard to support a family when you are disabled (especially when dr's like to play God with your disability paperwork) and my kids got very ripped off. However, as I've explained to them many times, you can let the negative define you, or you can define yourself in spite of it. I hope they are learning from me, that the answer is to define yourself.
I am a believer in Karma (and she can be a real Biotch) so, I believe I'm supposed to be living this life and learning these lessons. Probably for being very judgmental in my younger years, and for anyone I ever hurt, with anything, I apologize. Truly, and sincerely. I now choose to live a life where my only rule for myself is to NEVER intentionally hurt another person. (sounds simple, yes, but is FAR, FAR from it) I'm also as close to non-judgmental as a person can be, as an adult, though it is a constant work in progress, and I have to remind myself frequently. I truly live a life of "not my business" as long as it does not hurt someone, so I don't gossip, and I don't like to be gossiped about. If you have a question, ask it, I am neither shy nor easy to offend and my life is an open book.. even the parts I'm not proud of.
Because I am a devout believer in it, I practice introspection.. a lot. I believe that the only person who can make me better is me, and therefore, I strive to meet my own expectations though I do not expect others to. I expect more of myself than others, because I can't change them, only me. Because of that introspection, I'm also a very forgiving person, as long as you don't harm my loved ones. I learned at a young age.. life can be gone, more quickly than we ever realize, and it really IS important what we leave behind. Not money, or homes or cars, but the lives of others, that we've touched. I do not wish to be remembered as someone who was cranky, or moody, or a bi!ch, though some will always feel that way. My hope is to be remembered as someone quick to say "I love you" and very slow to say anything hurtful. I do have a temper, and if you are screwin' with me, it will not even come close to engaging.. however, I am UBER protective of those I love. Years ago, a friend called me the "human pitbull".. loyal to those I love, and lethal to those I dislike. It's a fairly true analogy, even today, though I am not violent. I'm smart, and empathetic, so I don't need to be violent to get my point across.
I am sarcastic, witty, and quick to laugh. I love to entertain others, and I love to be entertained. I used to have a great memory, but alas, my medications have turned me into a list making fool, so I don't forget anything.. thank goodness for my cell phone. lol.
My chronic pain doctor got a good laugh at me the other day, and she said "Becky, you always seem so cheerful, why?" I gave her the only answer I have. Tears and laughter are closely linked. And while I cannot always control it, I feel the laughter is more healing. The laughter allows us to use the best in ourselves, still see the worst, and work towards change. It allows us to be responsible for ourselves, at the same time that apologize when we've wronged someone. It's truly a choice to decide to live from the glass half full or the glass half empty perspective. While I can't always be cheerful, I do try positive as often as possible, though I did learn, with the passing of my Grandmother, sometimes, you have to look at life honestly... and find your way in spite of it. Gram had a wonderful saying, "Make Good Choices" and I try. I don't succeed all the time, just like everyone else.. but if I have hurt, or offended anyone, I apologize, and would love to apologize directly. So, if you feel that way, please, give me the chance.
I'm hoping to reconnect with old friends, or make new ones. Life, as it always seems to do, has changed for me considerably this past few years, and I have reached a point, where as a disabled SAHM, I am missing out on the social life of an adult, because the few friends I have (I am picky) can't understand my life many times.. you have to know what it's like to never ever be out of pain, and have to cope with it. BUT, I do not wish them to understand that, because I would not wish this on my worst enemy.. or even my ex's current wife..(Yes...Expand for more
Ms. Urbina, that's you.) .
In spite of it all I dearly love my boys, so, I try to find other ways to bond with them. My eldest is one of my favorite people, and we share a taste in books.. and how we pick friends and relationships.. yep, he and I talk A LOT.
My second, he's much quieter.. but has a seriously goofy side. He's also the one that stepped up at 9 years old, when my life fell apart, and I found myself with a difficult newborn, who's father abandoned us for his current fiance. My middle son is a great example of "Still waters run deep". He's 13, which means I alternate between letting him lay his head in my lap for me to stroke his hair, and being treated like the gum he just stepped in. I'll be grateful for adulthood with this one. He's so smart, and artistic.. so he works with me, on clay projects, and I teach him art, and how to sketch. oh, and I spend as much time as possible stroking his hair:)
My baby.. oh, my baby. He's not really a baby.. he's almost four. He was not supposed to be, though. I'd been told following an exploratory surgery, that I could not have more children. 2 years (and an EPT test) later, he was on his way.. lol He started out rough.. had colic from a few weeks old, allllllll the way to like six months. I was ready to rip ALL my hair out, and I blame him for at least 60% of my gray hair, though my eldest helped with that too. But my baby.. he started talking at 8 months, used sentences at 18 months, and now, he uses words like sarcastic, responsibility, annoyance, unfair, disappointed, etc. If he hears a word in a sentence, like the time he heard me tell his brother that his homework was HIS responsibility.. he'll go and use it again, but in a different sentence, and completely correct! Like when he told the other brother, "We are all responsible to pick up the house. That means YOU too!" Yep.. I'm in trouble. Oh, and did I mention he's super cute, and has eyelashes almost an inch long? Yeah... see? I am in HUGE trouble. That's why his dad left.. Fate knew this kid was going to NEED four parents! lol
Luckily for him, his father, stepmother, my fiance, and myself all are very close friends, along with his daytime sitter (he's the only kid there, they are retired friends of my grandma) and we've ALL worked our butts off for this kid to be secure, and confident. It required A LOT of forgiveness.. but I believe in forgiveness, and the harder it is, the more important it is to find that forgiveness.
My sons' all have different fathers, a fact I am not ashamed of. I have no regrets because I took the lessons I learned from my regrettable actions, and turned them into learning opportunities. Anyway, I do treat ALL their fathers' with the civility I'd expect. NOW, whether they respond that way is not always as mature as I'd hoped for, but I maintain, because ultimately, I don't answer to my exes, but I DO answer to my kids, and I want to be able to say with total honesty that I have tried. Their fathers' won't be able to say that, and I've kept all the proof. When they are adults, if they ask, they'll hear the truth, and see it.
I also have a beautiful, bright, and deeply loved, adopted daughter. Her story is hers, so I won't share anything except that she needed me.. I've been "Mom" since she was 16, and now, at almost 22, she's given me a beautiful grandson, and my grandprincess is on the way:) She also has given me a son-in-law I love and am proud of, who is a US Marine.
What's the point of me sharing all this? It's my life. Good, bad or ugly.. it's mine.
I am very much, what you see is what you get. I'm down to earth, it's almost impossible to offend me, and I have a seriously bawdy sense of humor:) I'm very secure in myself, and in my relationships. Because of that, I'm not competitive, nor am I likely to ever be. I'm loyal to a fault and I look forward to getting older, and the knowledge it brings.. (yep, no melt down on my 36th:)Or my 40th.. coming quickly, but not feared..
In spite of my disability, I try to stay busy:) I am creating many things with polymer clay, which I LOVE. I love to create jewelry, it's something that I always look forward to. I also can scrapbook fairly well. My kids were the reason I started, and I've even done them for a profit. (Okay, they pay me, but there is no profit involved! lol, I basically pay for materials! hehe). The clay projects are going to be put up for sale on the net, for those interested, and I'll add that weblink when I do.
Beyond my own kids, I've been highly involved in the lives of many teenage girls. Almost all of them are adults now, and I am SO proud of the majority of them. The young women they have become, and for those I am so honored that they choose to keep me in their lives. I've been told that I am "Everyone's Mom", and this is true, because I want to give the security I missed, and because I am scared to death of the generation we are raising... so, rather than just whine (or b'tch) about it all, I try to clean up MY corner of this world. If we all did that, the world would be fine.. keep that in YOUR mind.
You are welcome to contact me, I've got the Y messenger and go by mystica97 also with the Y dot com.
In the meantime, Take care, tell your loved ones what they mean to you, and live a good life!!
-Becky
--One Hundred Years from now
(excerpt from "Within My Power" by Forest Witcraft)
One Hundred Years from now
It will not matter
what kind of car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
how much money was in my bank account
nor what my clothes looked like.
But the world may be a better place because
I was important in the life of a child.
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