Sean Higgins:  

de sure to fully seperate my identity from my job. at one point i entertained the idea of becoming a rockstar. unfortunately, i don't have the drive/initiative/stick-to-itiveness to learn an instrument. this led to an unsuccessful career as a roadie. it's really hard to be an unsuccessful roadie. here's a starter guide: be constantly drunk, try to smash into as many things as possible, drop things. my only career goal at this point is to keep grooming my resume so that i can trick a company into relocating me to hawaii. i will then spend my free time training to become a professional surfer. of course, by professional surfer, i mean professional beach bum. Military i'd like to tell you about my lucrative military career, but i'd have to kill you. black ops stuff, i'm sure you understand. i could give you a brief demonstration using some lube, a banana and an innertube. i really don't know if you want to be humiliated like that, though.