Shadan Ardalan:
CLASS OF 1986
Westfield High SchoolClass of 1986
Westfield, IN
Purdue UniversityClass of 1991
West lafayette, IN
Bedford Junior High SchoolClass of 1982
Bedford, IN
Lincoln Elementary SchoolClass of 1980
Bedford, IN
Parkview Primary SchoolClass of 1977
Bedford, IN
Shadan's Story
Life
Well, after my experience with e-mails offering me mail-order brides, I must admit I was somewhat skeptical about going to this website. Many websites promise that these Russian women look just like Brittany Spears, but few deliver on their promise. Needless to say, I am somewhat disappointed. Anyway, as long as I am hereÂ
After my release from Westfield Penitentiary, I attended the David Letterman College of Comedy, majoring in sardonic wit with a minor in sarcasm. My research project focused on the formula "tragedy + time = comedy" and my honors thesis was "How to stretch a once funny joke way beyond its usefulness." With the lack of direction in my life, I decided to my future resided in professional roller derby. I didnÂt let my inability to skate stop me from becoming an All-Star swing man. And donÂt get me start on the groupiesÂ
letÂs just say I made up for lost time (if you know what I mean).
During a drunken orgy celebrating our championship season, I decided to "experiment" a little (ahhh, good tim...Expand for more
es). Before I knew it, I was painfully addicted to shiatsu massages. The result not only ended my career, but I was up to a $1000/day habit with no real end in sight. It took the compassion of a former Las Vegas Go-Go Boy to finally get me to love myself again. I was attending a 12-step program to defeat my demons when I discovered the world of male synchronized diving. I became successful at it for a while, but the grip of my shiatsu temptress was just too strong. Pretty soon I found myself driving by massage parlors that werenÂt even on the way home. Well, to make a long story short...I know, too late for that (these damn people only give me 2000 charactersÂ
how can I possibly fit the last 15 years of my life into 2000 characters???? - itÂs just not possible I tell youÂ
IÂm only up to 1995Â
if I canÂt just ramble incessantly, then I may as well stop nowÂ
my 1st amendment right is being violated here and I am not just going to stand by and let some dot.com millionaires stomp all over our civil rights) ARE YOU WITH ME!!!
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