Tom Richards:
CLASS OF 1993
Davis High SchoolClass of 1993
Davis, CA
Pioneer Elementary SchoolClass of 1985
Davis, CA
Tom's Story
Life
Hey everyone! I'm sure all of you are
scratching your heads and thinking "what
the heck did that punk- rocker Tom
Richards do with himself after high
school. Well I assure you I am making
more money than all of you now and
living a life of nothing but glamour,
super human status, fast cars, rock and
roll, women, booze, and chickens. Hey,
you know the two fattest identical twins
in the world, they're in the Guinness
Book of World Records and you always see
them on dirtbikes? Yeah well we're
pretty tight.
After I graduated I went to the
United States Ninja Academy and got a
job with the CIA. Ummmmmmmm, I
have a cat. I won't tell you what I'm
doing now but I'll tell you what I wish
I were doing: I wish I could be one of
those guys that tastes pies all day fer
like $200,000 a yr, no scratch that, a
dillion kuhjillion do...Expand for more
llars a
yr......................................
........mmmmmmmmmmmmmm pie.
Just last week I was walking around
downtown Oakland and I had to pee pee,
so I walked into this store called
"Stew's XXX Shop o' Smut." They said I
looked like I had good hands, I said
"aw shucks man, thanks" and they asked
me if I wanted a job and of course I
hopped at the chance (literally started
hopping around til' they made me stop).
I'm proud to tell you my fellow blue
devils class of 93', I am no longer Tom
Richards you knew around campus, I am
Tom Richards XXX Movie Booth Mopper.
Anyone can drop me a line and I do look
forward to seeing you at reunion.
ps: Remember that time that we had that NARC come and bust drug dealers and his alias was Kenneth Richards? Then the yearbook staff mixed up our names in the photos? That was fricking hilarious.
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