Allen Magers:  

A lot of things that I have done but I have never had too much fun. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I never really did graduate. I ended up taking the GED tests to get my high school diploma. I found out GED stands for good enough diploma. After tending bar in the United States for approximately 20 years all the way from Key West Florida to Boston Massachusetts and all the way out to Laguna Beach in Southern California I decided it was time to pack it in. I've known a lot of bold bartenders and a lot of old bartenders but I've not known many old, bold bartenders. I actually made a fortune tending bar but I spent two partying. It's just the nature of the beast. For my next adventure I went to work for a company that installed automated credit card and collect call information collection systems for people calling from hotel rooms and then billed them and paid a commission to the hotel. This took me to several exotic places like Freeport, Bahamas and Cancun, Mexico as well as several mundane places like Anaheim, California and Laughlin, Nevada. This eventually led me to going out on my own as a consultant. I was hired to do a project in Mexico City which leads me to my next adventure. While in Mexico City I met a nice Mexican girl who convinced me that I should move to Mexico City and we should get an apartment together. Being the idiot that I am I sold everything I could and gave away the rest and drove to Mexico City in my Mazda Miata which doesn't hold very much. The 1st day that I arrived she looked at me and said, "I think you smoke too much". I didn't say anything at the time because I thought she was probably right. The 2nd day she looked at me and said, "I think you drink too much". I looked at her and said, "I think you talk too f**king much and got in my car and drove to Cancun, Mexico. Which led to my next adventure. I arrived in Cancun, Mexico in 1998. I spent the 1st 3 months lying on the beach, drinking rum, reading, and listening to music. I woke up one morning and realized I only had about 2 pesos to my name. I said rut row Astro, I better get a job. One of the little-known Mexican immigration laws says that a foreigner is not allowed to work at a job that can be done by a Mexican national. Consequently, even though I had over 20 years experience tending bar, I was not allowed to get a work permit to tend bar in Mexico. I was getting quite frantic when I saw an ad in the newspaper that was soliciting for a native English speaker to sell activities online for a company called Aqua World which is the largest marina in Mexico. At the time I knew very little about the Internet which was about 100 times more than most everyone in Mexico so I got the job. After about 6 months I was approached by a couple of Mexican guys who wanted me to come to work for them selling not just Aqua World but all the tours and activities available in Cancun, Mexico. I agreed. Which leads to the next installment in the sordid life of an American expat. After about a year they were bankrupt and owed money to everyone in town and quite literally snuck out of town in the dead of night. They contacted me later and offered to sell me the business. I had been in Mexico long enough to know that you NEVER buy a business in Mexico, you just buy the assets. Otherwise you are liable for all the debts and legal actions of the old company. I will not even attempt to explain all the trials and tribulations involved in doing business in Mexico. No one has that much time to read it all. It is a continuous, evolving process. Just renewing your work permit year-to-year can take up to 3 months and longer. Not to mention renewing your business license. Things eventually got on a fairly even keel and I began to make decent money. I'm met a nice Canadian lady named Nancy in about 2002 and we have been together ever since. I'm an avid reader and since all books in English are imported here there is import duty tacked onto the price of every book. That makes a paperback book cost around $14 US. I was tired of having that much money wrapped up in books I'd already read so I started a used bookstore, buy, sell, and trade, which Nancy operated. We started the store with approximately 600 books and when we sold the store it had over 11,000 books. Which leads to what I hope is the final chapter in this long and boring missive. Cancun was starting to get on my nerves. Too much traffic, too many people, and too much crime. I decided it was time to get the funk out of Dodge. I assumed it was going to take me a long time to sell my business but due to unforeseen circumstances, mainly me being a lucky sh*t, it sold almost immediately. We put the word out that Nancy's bookstore was for sale and in less than a month we had 3 solid offers. We were both shocked. Alrighty then, I guess it's time to move. We had been coming down to a small town in the south of Quintana Roo for several years for vacation called Mahahual. The town motto is nothing to do, and plenty of time to do it. It's so small the now entering and now leaving Mahahual are just opposite sides of the same sign. We paid cash for a brand-new house and a boat. We already had a Dodge journey and a Chevy Silverado truck that me and my 2 other partners had won in fishing tournaments. I bought out their shares on the vehicles which made them very affordable. I don't owe any money to anyone so all I have to pay is food and utilities. I'm dead broke but I'm happy. So now I live in Mahahual. I have lived in Mexico full-time for the past 17 years and I think I'm finally starting to get a handle on it. We flew to Fort Lauderdale and got married on 21st of September, 2015. Social Security told me that we need to be legally married for a minimum of nine months for Nancy to be eligible to collect my benefit if I pass away. Everyone please mark this date on your calendar and if nine months from now if I should pass away mysteriously please look into it Time for an update. I just got back from Havana, Cuba where I was part of history in the making. On the 22nd of March the Tampa Bay Rays played a baseball game against the Cuban national team. It was the first professional baseball team to play in Cuba since 1999. History. Barack Obama was at the game along with Raul Castro, the president of Cuba. Obama was the first sitting President of the United States to visit Cuba in 88 years. Big history. It was very difficult getting into the game but that's a whole other story. On March 25th the Rolling Stones played a free outdoor concert with an attendance of over one half million people on the grounds and God only knows how many more watching from the rooftops and balconies of buildings surrounding the concert site. The Rolling Stones are the first world famous rock 'n roll group to play in Cuba. Again, history. They have just resumed mail service between the United States and Cuba for the first time in over 50 years. I went to the post office there in Havana and mailed six postcards to friends in the United States. I hope at least one makes it because again, it's history. I will be editing and adding some of the fabulous photos that I took while I was there and the major thought that was running through my head when I returned to my home here in Mexico was, "God bless America". Your Friend or maybe foe, Allen P.S. All 6 of the postcards made it. Well, I thought that was the end of my story but guess what? It's not. My wife and I have decided to sell everything we own, buy a class C motorhome and travel the USA and Canada as camp hosts. Just when you thought is was safe to go back out on the highways. I made a little website of the house for sale and just put it up. We already have one appointment to show the house. Check it out if you get a chance. Costamaya-mahahualhouseforsalebyowner. I'm sure you can figure out the dot com part. Whatever happens or doesn't happen is OK with me. To be resumed I'm sure. Dit, dit, dit, dot...Expand for more