Aubrey Novak:
CLASS OF 1994
Mira Mesa High SchoolClass of 1994
San diego, CA
Wangenheim Middle SchoolClass of 1991
San diego, CA
Challenger Middle SchoolClass of 1989
San diego, CA
Angier Elementary SchoolClass of 1988
San diego, CA
Angier Elementary SchoolClass of 1988
San diego, CA
Aubrey's Story
Life
oooh man! I was having an amazing dream! I was just born, and... I was eight-and-a-half months premature. The doctors were freakin' out. Did I already tell you this dream?
School
Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and thr...Expand for more
owing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
College
Don't think me unkind. Words are hard to find. There are only checks I've left unsigned from the banks of chaos in my mind. And when their eloquence escapes me, their logic ties me up and...
Workplace
I-I said I don't care if they lay me off, either. Because, I told-- I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time then I'm-- I'm quitting-- I'm going to quit. And I told Dom too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year. And I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels and they were married. But then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler. But I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler.
Military
Farewell to college joys, we sail at break of day. Through our last night ashore, drink to the foam. Until we meet again here's wishing you a happy voyage home.
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