Christie Glenn:
CLASS OF 1995
Shawnee Mission North High SchoolClass of 1995
Shawnee mission, KS
Johnson County Community CollegeClass of 1997
Overland park, KS
Christie's Story
Life
After high school, I decided to join the Legion of Indigenous African Rebels (aka LIAR.) This was quite an accomplishment for me as I am neither an indigenous African nor rebel. I can only credit my God-given ability to speak Xosa as well as the vast fortune that I acquired while fulfilling my life-long goal of owning & operating a rubber band factory in Guam. I digress.... My new membership afforded me the opportunity to travel to many exciting places in Africa. It was while on one of these excursions that I ended up in a pot of boiling water surrounded by painted cannibals. As they chanted and danced around the kettle, I became very concerned for my well-being. My life flashed before my eyes as I felt my demise quickly approaching. Oddly enough, my high school years were not a part of this flashback. Oh well. My eyes began to roll back in my head and I nearly passed out when I heard the familiar trills of Pygmy warriors. They attacked the camp and freed me from the near-fatal hot tub, believing I was Ninkutcha (the goddess of tree sap.) If you have studied anything about the Pygmy's, you will know that tree sap is a vital part of their life, so I was regaled in every way i...Expand for more
maginable. That is, until they discovered that I was not their beloved goddess. Realizing I was worthless to them, they sold me as a bride to a Zulu in exchange for 4 goats, 2 ducks, 1 dried up cow and a partridge in a pear tree. I was flattered to have been traded for such a high price. (Pear trees are very rare in Africa, you see.) Anyways, I lived with my Zulu husband and his 8 1/2 wives for many moons. (Yes, eight and a half. Mutulu was the victim of a terrible goring accident. Never saw that darn warthog coming. Oh well.) My husband and I eventually divorced. Irreconcilable differences. I came back to the States and decided that I was tired of living such a boring life. So I found a job working 8-5, M-F, in a cube farm of an accounting department. I must tell you, the excitement is almost overwhelming. I can barely sleep at night as I think about what new and exciting challenges will face me the next morning. Will they create some new way of adding numbers as I slumber? Will numbers as we know them cease to exist? Will 4+4 still = 12. (Oh, maybe that's why my last review wasn't so good.) Anyways, I hope that your lives have been everything you dreamed they would be.
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