Claudia Schultz:  

CLASS OF 1969
Claudia Schultz's Classmates® Profile Photo
Concord, CA

Claudia's Story

Life My biggest accomplishment? Hmmmmmm? Actually there are more than one! First, would be raising my children! That's also my favorite! Next would be making it this far in life without killing anyone! Third would be forgiving the people that made me want to kill them! I am a Dissociative Identity Disorder person. That means I have multiple personalities. I have had them since I was a small child. It made life quite interesting and challenging to get to this point in my life. It's interesting to see how different people react to the fact that I am what I am. Sometimes they do not want to talk to me anymore. Sometime they can't talk enough! I actually like to avoid most people, it's just my nature. I have an innate distrust of most everyone due to my past. I have been a lot of different people. My favorite, was my outlaw biker personality. Then my mother personality. They didn't mix to well, so for a few years I tried to kill myself, as I felt that I had nothing good to offer my children. I got over that hurdle now I am trying to fuse. My children are all, surprisingly enough relatively normal, and I am quite proud of them all! I used to try to figure out why I felt so different from everyone else, but it was so scary. I just put on a happy face, and pretended that I wasn't different. Now, since I found out that I am a multiple, I tell people right away. That way if they can't handle it, they leave. I'm still working on fusing, I'm really not too keen on the idea. I still feel that I benefit from my "committee." When I cannot be strong enough to deal with something unpleasant, I have "alters" that do it for me. The bad thing is that sometimes I still have "lost time." That is when "I" go away and someone else comes out. It can real...Expand for more
ly cause some problems. It would have been useful in school to be able to tell Mr. Gass, "Oh hey, the person that was here for that lecture isn't here now, so I don't know the answer but they do. Could you wait til they return?" A lot of the people that I know tell me that I should write a book. I wouldn't know where to begin. In the beginning? No! To ugly! From the beginning of recovery, back? Maybe! It's so bizzarre to actually say to someone, "Hey, do you remember "Sybil?" I got her beat, she only had three, I have over 45!" What was really bad was a few years ago, I ran into a old teacher of mine who told me that they ( a few of the teachers) suspected that I was being molested. Why didn't they say or do anything? How many other children did they do that to? I think that they are just as guilty as the people who molest and abuse. I personally hold no real grudge, I understand. I think that that truely is my biggest accomplishment. I understand how and why people are motivated to do what they do. There is always a driving force for any action. I have learned that it is not right for me to pass judgement on anyone, because you never know, they might just have really good reasons for doing strange things. My life experiences have definately made me an empath. Take two: I now have two wonderful grandchildren in my life. One is six and the other is three. Both are boys. They are definately one of the best things in life. It's funny how young children can make you really step back and look at life in a new way. You not only become reacquainted with the dangers and inequities, but the simple beauties and joys a single minute in the yard can bring. The feeling of a tiny hand, trustingly laid in your own, is absolutely awe inspiring.
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