Dawn Rasmussen:
CLASS OF 1980
Mission Viejo High SchoolClass of 1980
Mission viejo, CA
Dawn's Story
I moved to Southern California and attended Mission Viejo HS my senior year. My sister was with me the first semester and we lived with my uncle for awhile. I found work rather quickly as a waitress at Gilhooly's restaurant in the mall. Shortly after Christmas, with my uncles help, I had a place to live on my own in El Toro. Around that time my sister moved back to Washington State to live with my parents. My last semester of High School I was living on my own, working a 30 hour work week, and going to school. I've always been a quiet, but strong person and I liked my independence, I felt competent, and comfortable in providing for myself, though when feeling vulnerable the child in me still wanted someone to care for me. I am the youngest of four children, who were all born close together, and the quiet of my apartment that made my sense of isolation profound was difficult to face. I was terribly lonely but didn't know my feelings well enough at the time to be able to name it that.
I did not move to California because of the climate or culture or freedom from my parents. I was leaving a situation that I found myself increasing unable to endure. There was considerable childhood trauma in my adolescence and I had maxed out my coping skills. It was either move or die. During my year at Mission Viejo, all the trauma that I had pushed down or away because I didn't know how to deal with it came to the surface. I recall times of severe emotional pain, phases of emotional numbness, and moments of feeling carefree that my troubles were far away. I remember feeling hopeful with dreams and desires for life. These states of being were not stable nor constant but were unpredictable and recurring. Now that I look back, I can clearly see that I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome big time. I tried to hide my turmoil from people. At the time I deeply believed that no one would understand what I was going through. I just did not have enough life experience yet to know that I could trust safe people, and who those people were. I did not know that other people could hurt...Expand for more
as badly as I and for various reasons.
The first ten to fifteen years after graduation was a time of great personal growth and discovery that brought with it ecstasies of triumph and agonies of defeat. In textbook manner, I chose a relationship that felt familiar (read destructive and dysfunctional) so that I could continue my learned behaviors and thought patterns from my childhood. I didn't know that was what I was doing, however. I did know that when I hit bottom (again) I decided to change. I did change. My life changed. My future changed. It was a lot of hard work, took courage, and hurt to be honest about my mistaken ideas and beliefs. The destructive relationship self destructed. I suffered great regret over the ending relationship's impact on the two innocent children who were created in the union. I love them so deeply. They make every second of that relationship worth it.
I am now a middle school social studies teacher in Washington state. In my career I have taught fourth grade, fifth grade, and middle school math and science as well. In the spring I coach volleyball. I hated middle school as a student, but as a teacher I love it! I love the school where I work, I love the staff I work with, I love the content that I teach, but most of all I love the kids! I understand them. I connect with them. All the hurt of my past is transformed into compassion for those who are trapped in circumstances not of their doing. My wish is to show them acceptance and hope, while pushing them to succeed and believe in themselves. I have family and friends that will stand by me no matter what which gives me the security I always craved. I am happy and at peace with myself, my past, and my future.
Mostly, I would like you to know that I am alive because God is faithful. I mean this literally, not figuratively. The presence of a living God sustained me, healed me, and blessed me with a joy that for at least two decades I did not think was possible. Jesus is my savior.
If you would like to contact me, and this link doesn't work, you can also reach me on Facebook.
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