Diane Steiner:
CLASS OF 1968
North Miami Senior High SchoolClass of 1968
North miami, FL
North Miami Junior High SchoolClass of 1965
North miami, FL
Ruth K. Broad - Bay Harbor Elementary SchoolClass of 1962
Bay harbor islands, FL
Diane's Story
My Bio
Hi there whoever you are reading my bio. Guess you were asking yourself, "what has Diane Steiner been up to since I saw her last in 1968?" Well, let me fill you in.
I am still looking for a job. I know that's a drastic step being I am 50-something, I mean, 40-something. There really aren't many jobs for people like me.. besides, I really don't want to work, NOT BECAUSE I AM LAZY .. it's just that there's some pretty good shows on T.V. and work would really interfere with them.
PLUS most convenience stores and fast food chains are a good three blocks or so from where I live. As it is now, after buying cigarettes and beer theres not enough of my welfare check left to buy the darn newspaper. And then there's all the time spent applying for welefare and cashing the checks .. seriously, it really eats up a lot of my time.
I was getting sick of just sitting around the house smoking and drinking and thought "I may as well find a job." Last week I managed to save enough for the Sunday paper. I was going to apply for some stuff that I circled and then I got to wondering, when you apply for something, do you have to actually go down there to apply, or can you just ask them to hire you over the phone? because I'd hate to miss Springer and General Hospital for no good reason. That's why I decided to create a resume.
RESUME:
My goal was to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I decided I should try accounting.
Here are some of my qualifications:
I am experienced in private relations.
I am skilled in proolreading.
I am a rabid typist.
I am a computer geni...Expand for more
us skilled at Word Purpose and Locust skills.
Left job to ruin family business. (I was working for my mom until she decided to move.)
I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat progroms.
I have an obsession for detail. I like to make sure that I cross all my i's and dot my t's.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
Reason for leaving previous jobs:
They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
Reason for leaving last job:
Maturity leave. (Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers.)
Education:
Curses in liberal arts.
Curses in computer science.
Curses in accounting. (Finished eighth in my class of ten.)
Failed CPA exam with relatively high grades.
I can stand on my head!
Strengths:
Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
Other:
I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
Proven ability to track down and correct erors.
I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.
Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.
Marital status: often.
Children: various.
Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.
Qualifications: No education or experience.
Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.
Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
Let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my experience.
Sincerely,
Diane Steiner
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