Doris Richardson-Leonard:
CLASS OF 1959
Kirkpatrick High SchoolClass of 1959
Ft. worth, TX
Doris's Story
Hi, Kirkpatrick, remember me? I'm Doris Nell Richardson-Leonard.
I'm not a poet, but I do write, a little. My mom passed January 8, 1995, and to say the least, it was very traumatic for me. The pain was so intense that I felt as if someone had, literally, snatched the heart out of my body. I never felt such pain and numbness in my life.
My mom had been very ill, but she had some very good days, and this was one of those "good" days. She appeared to be doing really well the Saturday evening she went to the Harris Emergency Room.
Once, there, they laid her on a gurney, took her blood pressure, and drew blood. After all the tests and blood work came back, the doctor asked if he could speak with me outside the cubicle.
I stepped out and spoke to the doctor, and he said, "She won't make it out this time. You need to call your family members now." What?! As he spoke those words, it sounded as if he was talking to someone else. I could not believe what he was saying. I was standing there, but seemingly, in a trance. As I looked at him, "Are you sure. She was only complaining about being nausea and her back hurting. How could this be?"
As the doctor saw the dismay on my face, he began to say, "Well she may just fool us, she has in the past, but she only stands 50/50 chance of coming out this time. He, and most of the emergency room staff, knew me by sight, because of the many emergency room visits with my mom.
He said he had given her something for nausea and, also, Lasix for her kidneys,which were failing. The medication would cause her to sleep; after treating her in the emergency room,he sent to ICU. We talked to her before the medicine took affect and she did'nt seem to be in any distress. She was scatching her forehead, which was a habit, whenever she was worried or in deep thought about something, and that was what she was doing. We only had a few minutes while she was awake, before they took her to ICU. So I told her, "Mama, you know the Lord, talk to Him." They would not allow us to ride with her to her room.
Once she was on ICU and settled in, they gave us permission to go in to see her. However, she was already unconscious by then. The nurse said, although, she was not awake, she could still hear us. So I talked to her about my older brother, John, whom, she was always concerned about. I told her not to worry about him, that I would take care of him and we would all see after each other. My mom loved us and told us to always see after one another.
Mom never regained conscious, she died while we were all standing around her bedside. It's a horrible sight to see someone die. As her breathing became more shallow, the pulse in her neck began to get slower, then suddenly, it just stopped! My mom was dead! "She can't be! Try it again, are you sure!? I thought I heard a noise." Oh, such pains, such tears, such heartbreak. They tried to revive her, but each time they used the paddle, her heart kept stopping. Delores said, "Doris, she's gone." They asked us if we wanted them to try again. I looked at Delores and she shook her head no. They...Expand for more
had actually tried everything humanly possible.
The medical team told us that if they hit her in the chest too many times, it could crush her chest cavity, because there would be hard blows to the chest. They told us, that if she survived, she would be braindead, laid up in a nursing home. They pronounced my mom dead at 8:30 AM on a Sunday morning, January 8, 1995.
One of my church sisters came to the hospital, matter of fact, she helped my husband keep me from collapsing on the floor, as we left my mom's room. The church had announced my mom's condition and was praying for us. This missionary got into her car and rush to the hospital. Thank God for Miss'y Barbara Williams, she, too, had lost her mother. She knew what I was experiencing.
The lost of a loved one is devasating, but your mother whom you had been so close to, who had lived with you up until that awful day, it's really hard.
My sister, Delores Bailey, Eloise Faye, my sister-in-law (Peter's wife) and Janice, my niece, had gone to the printers to give them the obituary, however, I ended up doing it my self, except for running them off.
While sitting there, words began to flow into my spirit. As each word came to me, I began to write. Of course, they were bits and pieces, but after sitting and waiting for the printers to finish, I began to put the words together. The title, initally, was called "A Special Poem," but after thinking about it, I decided to name it "Where Did the Time Go?" I submitted this poem via internet to poetry.com. Timeless Voices chose it as one of their entries to be published in The International Library of Poetry in 2006.
I had to find something to deal with the pain that was so excruciating, however, the tears did keep on flowing.
"Where Did the Time Go?"
Where did the time go?
If I had know she had only a short time
What could I have done that I didn't do?
Questions, questions, but none to God
Where did the time go?
Did I do all I could have done?
Did I say, "Ilove you, Mom," enough?
Questions, question, but none to God
Where did the time go?
I can still see the twinkle in her smile
The laughter we shared is gone forever
And will be no more; where did the time go?
Questions, questions, but none to God
Where did the time go?
If I had known that her time would soon end
Did I give her enough of my time?
Questions, questions, but none to God
Where did the time go?
Because, I could only submit a limited number of words, this is only a portion of the poem. I just wanted to share it with you. Perhaps, you are dealing with a an unbearable situation. Write down your thoughts, listen to what the Spirit is saying to you. It's really comforting to know that God is a very present help in times of trouble, and He proves Himself each moment.
I certainly hope this short story will encourage someone to, perhaps, call up your mother or a loved one. Go by and check on someone you love or who loves you.
Hopefully, by the middle part of next year, I will have my book ready for publication. I will keep you notified through Classmates. Thanks for allowing me to share.
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