Emmett Chase:  

Life 09.21.05 Hyper-sensitive people, do yourselves a favor and turn back now. If we can't laugh at each other, at whom can we laugh? (The picture is one I trimmed from the files at work. We were volunteering with Habitat for Humanity that day, so I'm pretty grungy. But you get the idea.) As a recap I moved from California to Utah in January 1992 (sophomore year). I lived in a tiny town next to the Flaming Gorge Dam. Everyone should go there, it's awesome. But it probably won't be as much fun for you as it was for me. At Manila H.S. (aka Cow Country High) I had many memorable exploits and experiences (I'll have to tell you sometime) but I had myriad conflicts with the administrative staff and the bumpkins so I ended up graduating from Uintah H.S.. To save on tuition I attended in-state schools (UofU and Utah State) and though I studied art, english and chemistry for over five years, I ultimately got dual degrees in "jack" AND "squat." I'll probably keep dumping dollars into this commonly accepted scam, but even when you get a christ-punchingly cool degree like biochem, its still common to say "I'll have to get a PHD before I hit decent money." It's what binds the smart people to "communications" chumps. We'll all give each other high fives when we hit retirement age and get our loans paid off. A funny thing: most people I know make more at their regular jobs than the starting jobs they can get with their BA. Anyway, I married a fly honey in 1999. We have three kids; Ethan, Olivia and Jonah. Best looking kids EVER. They have more style and personality in their little fingers than you have in your entire faux-hawk (or whatever hairdo is 4 inches up from your eyeballs). In the days, I take them to farms, bookstores, museums and such. At night I work in a $#ithole of a cubicle for corporate ghouls (Go eBay!). On weekends I mountain bike an...Expand for more