James Meyer:
CLASS OF 1984
West Union High SchoolClass of 1984
West union, OH
James's Story
My current age is 47. When I was 12, I thought that by this age I would be wise, mature, responsible, and stable. I was so completely wrong.
My best friend would tell you I'm celibate so far, but people who don't know me very well would probably describe me as a dirty old man.
I share my home with dust, clutter, and dirty reused dishes, which I find perfectly acceptable to me.
In 10 years, I hope to be married. I'm going to get there by being less chicken than I have been so far.
My first job was at the Marietta College cafeteria dishroom, where I got paid a paltry sum to do the crapwork no one else wanted to do. What I remember most about it is sweating all over the dishes while listening to Twisted Sister.
Now that that's out of the way....
As many of you know, I was Salutatorian of the Class of '84. The next year I went to Marietta College, an excellent school, but far too high-pressure for me. I was under so much stress I was having spontaneous nosebleeds. So in the Fall of '85 I transferred to Wilmington College of Ohio. I did a LOT better there that first year, was much happier, joined a fraternity (Tau Kappa Beta, which was co-ed at the time), even made the Dean's List. Everything was looking up and it appeared I was on my way to living up to the potential I showed in high school.
Then the following year, the Fall of '86, I had my first (and still biggest) major depressive episode. I flunked all my classes and was put on academic probation for the following semester. Commuting from home and taking 2 classes in the Spring of '87, I redeemed myself academically, but it was during that semester that my father died suddenly of a heart attack. Actually, it was rather fortunate I was home; my mother and grandmother would have had a much harder time coping without my help (Mom couldn't drive, and neither knew how to balance a checkbook).
To make a long story short, I spent the next several years on and off probation, constantly struggling with lethargy, inability to control my sleeping habits, suspecting I was suffering from something more than mere chronic depression, yet unable to get a decent diagnosis out of any one or any better medication than a woefully inadequate antidepressant. Nobody at Shawnee Mental ...Expand for more
Health Center at that time seemed to believe there was anything more wrong with me than depression, laziness, and immaturity. One guy even tried to convince me to stop taking what little medication I was on, asking "How dependent do you want to be?" I tell you, substance abuse counselors have no business working in mental health clinics!
Yet I didn't know what else to do but stay in college and try to beat whatever was wrong with me on my own. After all, if I dropped out I'd just have to get a job, and if I was having so much trouble being a student, which I'd always excelled at, how could I possibly handle a job? Eventually, though, at the end of the Spring of '89, I flunked out completely and was dismissed. Still not knowing what else to do, I spent '89-90 at Southern State, where I once again made the Dean's List. Having redeemed myself, I transferred back to Wilmington for the Fall of '90 -- and flunked out again!
Finally, after all that, I was connected with a better psychiatrist, who put me on far more effective medication and gave me a better (if still less than entirely accurate) diagnosis. With this diagnosis I was able to get on SSI Disability, have my student loans cancelled, and settle into a comfortable if limited life. Since then, I've learned my completely accurate diagnosis: I'm bipolar.
So, since 1992, my life has been pretty uneventful. A few things have changed over the years, but not many, and those very slowly. I even tried returning to Wilmington in the Fall of 2005 to finish my major in Religion & Philosophy and go on to seminary, with the goal of becoming a Unitarian Universalist minister. But it didn't work out; my symptoms acted up and I had to quit.
But you know, I'm really pretty happy with my life right now. I've pretty much gotten past mourning the life I might otherwise have had; I've got a guaranteed minimum income for the rest of my life that provides me with everything I need if not everything I might want; and I don't have to work any more than I want, and only at those things I want to do.
So that's the whole story. No wife, no children, no real job; but a sufficient income, a comfortable apartment, and lots of free time to spend however I like. It's not half bad.
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