Tonnie Keith-jones:  

I was adopted at ten months old into a home where I became the object of abuse (which is not the norm for adoption). I was adopted at ten months old into a home I became the object of abuse and was nearly taken away from my adoptive parents due to the continual markings all over my body where I had been beaten. (This was before anyone ever heard of child abuse through the media.) When I began school my teachers had to train me not to dodge when someone came near because I was so used to being beaten that anytime an arm or hand came near me I ducked. My first crush was on my first grade teacher; I was infatuated with women which was evident in my artwork from the very beginning when I drew with crayons (my subject matter didn't go over well with the parents). I dove into my school work because I enjoyed the positive feedback I received from my teachers. I was a straight-A student. At age nine I encountered the death of my adopted mother. At that point I transitioned from continual abuse to always being alone at home with my younger brother who always pounded on me and tried to stab me with knives and locked me out of the house (just your nomal loving home, huh?) My adoptive father soon hired my birth mother to live in back of our house and care for us. She then became my mom and was until her death in 2008. (She really didn't know how to be a mom, but aftershe was saved around my sixteenth birthday, she knew how to tell me about the Lord.) When I was sixteen I was raped and became pregnant. A doctor talked me out of giving my son up for adoption when he was born (I¿m so glad he did because I couldn¿t have any more children.) I turned to alcohol to deal with the loneliness and rejection I was suffering at school because I had been one of the "good girls" and none of my friends would have anything to do with me because they didn't believe I was raped. Eventually, I landed a job and I was invited to the Baptist church by one of my co-workers. All I knew was that what those people had, I wanted. As soon as an invitation came, I hit the altar and my heart was transformed. In my case it was very easy because I was totally delivered from so many things at the altar. However, I would go out witnessing with my friends. One of the places we went to witness was outside the local gay bar. The only problem was that the women would flirt with me. I would leave feeling ashamed because I liked it. I was so curious about the lesbian lifestyle. I asked about it and was told it was blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and that "Those people are going to hell!" At that point I was convinced that if I loved women, God would hate me and send me to hell. It tormented me. I still was a single mother and was taught that I needed to find a Christian husband to help raise my son. I went through one failed relationship after another -- all the while ministering everywhere I had a chance (even speaking teaching in my Bible College classes). God used me in the miracle and healing gifts in various meetings across the country (I was even invited to pray with Kenneth Copeland's group at a West Coast Believer's Convention after one of the disabled woman I prayed for was healed and was able to walk) but, I still struggled with my sexuality. I helped raise up church after church from the ground up. God worked miracles and signs through me which made the churches grow quickly. It doesn't take long to build a church when people are experiencing healing and miracles! Everywhere I went I prayed and prayed for God to remove a "homosexual spirit" from me, not realizing that I was genetically created who I was (am). I thought I had picked up a demon somewhere, but I was just being who I am. God continued with signs following, miracles happened, people got healed all over the place...but I was tormented by the thought that I was a disappointment to God because I was only attracted to women. I was truly convinced that if I didn't get "delivered" God would stop using me and that scared me more than a life of celebacy. I prayed for lots of folks and they got delivered. I prayed for me and I stayed the same. I got in every line for prayer when the gay topic came up, still no results. In my turmoil, God spoke to my spirit the scripture in Romans 8 that says that nothing can separate me from God¿s love. I knew that He loved me and He loved me as a lesbian. I just didn¿t know anyone else that knew that. Ultimately, I was led by the Holy Spirit to a church where the pastor was brave enough to preach from the pulpit that it was not a choice to be gay, that you were born that way, and that God loves the gay person. That was all I needed to come out. I had never been with a woman yet; but, I felt like a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. I was honest with God and that was all that mattered. I now serve at New Covenant Church at Atlanta as a Deacon and on the Prophetic Team, and I have traveled with Pastor Evangelist Brian Grizzle and his partner Ed, reaching out to churches across America with the good news that God loves and uses GLBT Christians. I hope this story helps someone who is struggling as I did (and keeps them from making such a disaster of their life). And to those, like me, who have made numerous mistakes, I¿ll tell you what the Lord spoke to me: "If you look back on your life, you¿ll be like Lot¿s wife and freeze, you¿ll never be effective." Concentrate on where the Lord is leading you, not on where you have been. He will use you if you ask Him! I'm a living testimony that God does allow His power to flow through people (like a conduit), straight or gay, there's no difference to Him! and was nearly taken away from my adoptive parents due to the continual markings all over my body where I had been beaten. (This was before anyone ever heard of ...Expand for more