Kirk Anderson:
CLASS OF 1980
Loudoun County High SchoolClass of 1980
Leesburg, VA
Virginia Polytechnic Institute & State UniversityClass of 1984
Blacksburg, VA
Kirk's Story
4/22/2015 Update:
I thought I'd produce a quiz for the two people who actually ever read any of the crap on this site. See if you can remember the true identity of the following aliases of former LCHS faculty members::
1. Toe Woman
2. The Great Gazoo
3.. Ally Oop
4. 'roo
5. Burger King
6. Galpo
7. Mad dog
8. Pappy
9. Darling
10. Horse face
11.. Laser breath (hint: he also had banana fingers) or Chrome Dome
12. Ditto-Man
7/28/09 Update: Okay, I'm going even further back in the archives with some of the new items I've added to the list.
I'll admit that I had much more fun in high school and college than I deserved, so rather than bore you with current stuff, I've put together a short list of high school memories that still make me laugh:
1. John Cummings pleading, "C'mon Todd.." as he was lying on the floor of the cafeteria with chocolate milk streaming down his cheeks looking up at a very angry Todd Taylor who had just pegged him in the face with the half-empty chocolate milk carton that moments before, John had mistakenly emptied into the crotch of Todd's white painter's pants.
2. Debbie Robinette -- my first "steady" girlfriend in 6th and 7th grade. I was crazy about her then and was absolutely wrapped around her finger. Initially, she was crazy about me, too, but that soon passed and she spent most of her time amusing herself by keeping me twisting in the wind. I can think of no better example of this than the time she said she was going to break up with me to go with Buck Greene, only to change her mind after Buck showed up at school one morning with a particularly bad haircut! Now that's some funny sheet.
3. Roger Lowe grabbing me by the throat in the hallway in front of our French class while shouting, "If you say "Quel page?, Rog" one more time I'll kill you!"
4. In sixth grade, after Bruce Walters ripped a tremendous fart in social studies class, Ms. Spruil saying, "Now Brucie! I don't think it's fair when it's so hot.....you go outside and I tell you what you must write!"
5. The day in Sonny Pearson's advanced PE class when Scoobie Boxwell applied a two handed spank on Jeannie Groschan's ample booty during a "two hand touch" football game.
6. One day in 8th grade health class (you know, the classroom version of PE where Mr. Cooper told you stuff like "follow a lake" if you get lost in the woods) when a fight broke out between Steve Ballenger and Michael "Coolhand" Bates over a pencil. The two were going at it as Mr. Cooper calmly looked on and stated, "If I have to get up I'm going to nail someb...Expand for more
ody" at which point they stopped fighting and the following exchange occcured:
Ballenger: (emotional and on the verge of crying): "He took my pencil!"
Bates (as cool as a cucumber): "You never asked for it."
Ballenger (shouting threw tears): "I did too!"
Bates (still cool): "When?"
Ballenger: "When Mr. Cooper was out of the room!"
Bates (icey cold): "Well you weren't supposed to be talking then."
Pete and I couldn't help but to bust out laughing (and risk the ire of Mr. Cooper), but the dude's logic was sound. Earlier, Cooper had given strict orders for everybody to clam up while he stepped out for a few minutes.
7. Everyday in Fritz Sholtz' class, but I particularly like the way he tormented Pat Lynch (a.k.a. Rocky) and the way he handled Nancy O' Flaherty. Fritz would call out Pat for talking or whatever and Pat would respond by shooting him that deathray stare deal of his, which was like adding gasoline to a fire as Fritz would sense blood and go for the jugular. Then there was Nancy... her "I'll just play dumb" act that so endeared her to practically every male (including me, I must admit) didn't phase ol' Sholtzy. He was having none of that crap!
8. Any class with Steve Ballenger. I think he and I together reached some sort of critical mass deal that led to hard times for whoever was teaching the class. Steve was particularly rough on poor old Mrs. Deitrick, God rest her soul.
9. Ben Bazak and Tim White speeding after us in Bazak's sky blue piece of sh** car after we had made it known to them that we were the culprits that had earlier laid a couple of big loogies on the windshield of Tim White's piece of sh** Chevy Citation. Speaking of Bazak, what in the world did a certain attractive young student see in him anyway?
10. The brief "rebellion" over the confederate flag. You remember, the one that started with a bunch of us hanging out in the foyer refusing to go to class, which prompted the ridiculous threat from Mr. "Burger King" Martin over the PA system stating that "If you don't go to class immediately, you will be considered absent" Ooo wee, that's some harsh punishment! We then were coaxed into the auditorium where "the debate" ensued. The debate was a riot (of the laughing type), although I'm sure not everyone saw it that way. The whole thing culminated in a slew of Loudoun's finest descending upon the school to contain and control the "volatile situation" (ala Rosco telling Enos "Good news!, Good news!, we get to break out the riot gear!"). Fun times!
More to follow when I have more time.
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