Marty Querzoli:
CLASS OF 1980
Bridgewater-Raynham Regional High SchoolClass of 1980
Bridgewater, MA
St. Joseph's CollegeClass of 1984
Standish, ME
Marty's Story
Life
After B-R, Querzoli studied communications until it was found his image/voice could not be captured on video/audio tape. He headed to Broadway and landed the role of Marius in "Les Miserables," where he was fired for demanding the show name be changed to "Boy, WeÂre Miserable!" Depressed, Querzoli began drinking. While he can not recall the ensuing years, rumors range from marriage to a lady wrestler to arrest for an incident at a petting zoo. Querzoli admits itÂs all possible, a claim punctuated by a tattoo of unknown origin on his butt which reads "Checkout Is At Noon." Querzoli's drunken stupor ended at The Brockton Fair, where at 625 lbs., he had become The Fat Man. Overjoyed to be home, he waddled out to find a phone, only to be struck by a student driver. For a year, Querzoli languished in coma. This mark...Expand for more
ed what could be the most productive period in Querzoli's life, enabling him to slim down and avoid any catastrophic career moves. However, upon awakening, he was immediately served with a palimony suit filed by his former trailer "bunkie" from The Fair. As it turns out, Mel, a "hairy guy who liked to drink and wrestle," was actually Melinda Kenny, Bearded Lady. A shocked Querzoli reacted by retreating to the Hockomock Swamp where he was abducted by aliens and "thoroughly" examined. Unimpressed, they released him with the admonition, "Get a job." Querzoli did just that, taking a post at the Raynham Dogtrack where he today continues to apply racing wax to greyhounds. Though lacking the glamour of earlier dreams, Querzoli is content and enjoys life with his bride, Mel, who looks a lot like Sally Fields when clean shaven.
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