Sherri Brown:  

This is it... In in August 1981, I left my chilhood home. My young adult life continued. I lived with my loving boyfriend that treated me well. I was not completely comfortable living with him without being married, even though I loved him with all my heart. My concious was severed most of the time because, I was high a lot. I think the "all my heart " was the problem. Jesus had no room in my heart, because Johnny (this sweet guy) was taking all of my heart and I smoked pot everyday. We did finally tie the knot in May 1983. In 1985, we had a baby girl. She was an adorable baby. I was scared to death to have children. My fear was that I would not be a good mother and Johnny treated all my pets wrong, so he would not be a good father. I was completely wrong about Johnny. He was and is still a great father. I tried to be, and I believe I was a good mother most of the time , but I was angry. I felt a deep emptiness. We had a baby boy in 1987. He was so cute and small. I looked like a good mother. We had a sweet little family. Inside I was a mess. I was completly addicted to marijauna and drank straight whisky every weekend. The fear of not knowing how to quit and how to be a responsible parent increased, my anger, and resentment grew, along with my addictions. I hope my story is connecting with someone, because I know I am not alone. Thank God, it doesn't end there. My baby boy was three months when I turn my life over to God. It was Jan 1988. My mother was visiting, baby Adam was colicy, crying all the time, my 2 1/2 year old daughter was being a normal 2 1/2 year old. My stress was up the wall. I could not get high with my mother there. I was tired of getting high and tired of everything. My mother wanted us to pray for little Adam. I was ready for prayer. We prayed. I followed her prayer. I said " If there was anything hindering this prayer from being answered, that it be broken, in Jesus name." After the prayer, within a couple of minutes, my water bong (pipe) fell from its hiding place. It broke. My heart fell into my stomach. I knew what that meant. My mother was still there and I could not open up the hiding place to clean up the mess, because she would see it. The trailer started to stink like bong water. It was so scary for me. Mom was taking her time getting out of there. I was opening the windows in January. Mom finally left to her own house. I dug a hole and buried my bong and my life of addiction in that hole. I cried out to God and prayed for God's forgivness and mercy, that He generously gave me. My life changed that day. I was delivered from my addition to pot. I began to read the bible, pray, Listen to Christian music, go to church. I was so hungry to learn how to be a blessing to God. I was so thankful for the p...Expand for more