Patrick Baker:
CLASS OF 1979
Ridgewood High SchoolClass of 1979
Ridgewood, NJ
Skidmore CollegeClass of 1983
Saratoga springs, NY
Patrick's Story
Life
Welcome to my bio page.
Oct. 2007 Post
Its been awhile since my last post, and I've learned a few things I wanted to share.
1. When your teenage (ADD) daughter asks if she can have a pet tarantula, say no. I was OK with the dog (now mine), birds (now dead), hamsters (see birds), lizards (see birds and hamsters), cats (some still with us, some God knows where), horse (never again), turtles (see, well, you get the idea) and fish (see commode), but the tarantula (which we still have by the way, in case your in the market for one) was truly a bad idea.
Actually, I thought the tarantula was kinda cool, until it got out one night. In reconstructing the crime, it appears said ADD daughter forgot to put the lid back on the cage after feeding said tarantula. Seeing its opportunity, said tarantula (whose name is Stealth) decided to go for a walk about. While I was deciding whether it would be better to risk getting bitten while trying to recover Stealth, or simply let him become a Free Range tarantula and take my chances, my wife and kids decided for me.
Thus started the first (and hopefully last) Baker family tarantula roundup. I'll spare you the blow by blow account, as it took a mere 2 hours to track Stealth down under a pile of dirty cloths (one of many, I might add) in my daughters closet.
Since the great Tarantula Escape of 2006, my daughter has gone on to college. Stealth, however, remains with us. He looks depressingly healthy.
2. Outa time. Will try and get back before 2010.
2004 Post
In lieu of the usual bio profile (e.g., no. of degrees, marriages, children, jobs, houses, etc.) I thought it might be more informative to know what IÂve learned thus f...Expand for more
ar. Without further delay, here it is, the collected wisdom from 44 years on earth.
1. Never play poker drunk. This incredibly important concept took a surprisingly long time to learn and was finally mastered, more or less, about the time I left grad school. This timing suited my advisor well, as it was he who introduced me to the game, thereby supplementing his meager (so he claimed) professorÂs salary. I think I put both his kids through college.
2. If you taste in clothes runs towards blue jeans and T-shirts, and your fiancée buys you a seersucker suit, you are well on your way to relationship hell.
3. There are two types of people in the world. Powerboaters and sailors.
4. If you home-school your kids, you occupy the unusual status of being both a pot smoking counter culture hippie (as viewed by republicans) and, at the same time, a right wing evangelical fundamentalist Christian (as viewed by the democrats).
5. The terms Âpoker and Âbuddies are mutually exclusive.
6. Everything that has gone wrong in the world can be traced back directly to, or to within 6 degrees of, me or one of my forefathers. My foremothers seem to have a pretty clean record.
7. ItÂs probably useless to expect more out of any government than running water and paved roads. A functioning sewer system is a bonus.
8. The railroad system in this country, at least so far as public transit is concerned, makes a strong case for legalizing euthanasia.
9. The Âcheat-sheet on determining the crime rate, air / water pollution, congestion, tax rate, etc. on a given local can be boiled down to Âcan you see the stars at night?Â.
10. Any good list stops at 10.
If I learn anything else IÂll let you know.
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