Andrew Epstein:
CLASS OF 1989
North Warren High SchoolClass of 1989
Blairstown, NJ
Frelinghuysen Township Elementary SchoolClass of 1982
Johnsonburg, NJ
Andrew's Story
There are few moments more humility-inducing than when someone asks, "So, what have you done with your life since high school?"
The reality is... not much. But not for lack of trying.
I floated from one crappy job to another, one crappy local college to another, made some money, spent some money. Ultimately, I ended up at a very nice corporation (okay... I know I used "nice" to describe a corporation, but at the time, they seemed really nice) making heavy bank. I got my dream car. I got my dream home theater. I achieved all my short-term life goals.
And then I got sick.
Really sick.
The kind of sick that says, "It's amazing you're here typing this. We thought you were dead." Yeah. Me too.
In the midst of being sick, I decided to learn to scuba dive. It was a "bucket list" item, and I had time to spare, having found myself loosely employed and being financed by my company to stay home and do nothing. If I was going to die, I might as well get a look at the pretty fish.
But I didn't die, and the fish were pretty, so I left my company and became a scuba instructor. It was easy, the hours were few, and people seem to have fun at it, unlike any other job I've had where people just kinda glare at you. I got married shortly thereafter to a girl I met while scuba diving. She's a veterinarian. And a private pilot. And a nationally ranked saber fencer. And she's app...Expand for more
lying to the space program in July 2008. If you ever want to feel like a candle next to the sun, talk to my wife.
Currently, we are under contract to buy our first house in Clark, NJ. That's exciting for us. It never occured to me that rent was a bad idea until I got out the calculator and figured out how many houses I could have owned if I'd been paying mortgages instead of rent. Sick. If you want to rent cheap, stay out of this part of Union county. In fact, if you want to do anything cheap, stay out of this part of Union county.
So I'm still on the planet, but still sick. My wife makes enough money to cover our expenses, but that makes me feel ree-e-e-e-e-eeallllly leech-like. I'd love to go get another job, but I refuse to work for another Fortune corporation. (They eat souls, and manage to convince you that you like having your soul eaten. You sometimes ask for a little extra nibble if you don't feel your soul's been properly masticated. The pay is fabulous. You can live out any dream you want. As long as it doesn't require a soul.) Finding a job within the limitations of a disability is pretty difficult, though, and so far I haven't come up with any concrete business plan. So for now, I'm just here, being sick, relaxing, playing video games, and taking it easy for all my people out there who are shuffling through the soul-mangler.
Flying Spaghetti Monster!
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