Ani (Anita) Ashford:  

JANUARY 2017 You can find me at Awenglow, at December, 2016 This year is nearly over. I am glad to have lived every moment to the best, through sorrow, love, joy, pain, loss. I am thankful for my Mum, children, their spouses, my grandchildren, friends, and my beloved Jian. I am so thankful for his loving care. I am looking forward to my storytelling class in February. Blessings of good health, peace and many positives for 2017. Ani (my nickname, which I will legally change from Anita, when I return to my maiden name) Here it is, August 2016. Being a widow is fraught with difficulties. ... first off, if you are dependant on Social Security and pensions from military and govt, they take all the money away in the month your sponsor spouse dies. ... I have been rushed, forced into clearing the home of 40 years when I am grieving. Finances have forced me into a precarious place, as the house in a very desireable neighborhood, has had challenges to overcome. I don't like being a 'senior citizen'. However, there is a silver lining... my friend of many years, Jian, loves and takes care of me. I need a vacation... I need my house to sell, and quickly. Years of cancer care and house renovation has left me depleted on all levels. October 21, 2015 I lost my husband of 40 years to cancer. Now I most sell the house. Living in Seattle is insanity to me. A small 2 acres and one storey house... where I can grow my organic garden, enjoy quiet of the trees is my hope. February 2015 - I have gone back to working out in the gym. Aiming toward strength and flexibility. I have lost weight since last year - about 25 lbs, but I need to lose another 55 lbs. My life is taken up in doc appointments for my husband's chemo, the chemo maintenance for my dear friend, and my mother and her knee replacements. Sometimes the sorrow is heavy, but life is full of beauty and love. So much to sort in this house. 40 + years of things I no longer want nor need. Onward! Spring is peeking out of the ground in the garden, and the camellias my father gave me are blooming. My children are doing well. Proud of them all, and my two granddaughters. Here it is August, 2013 - My husband's cancer has been metastic to the liver. It is not possible to surgically fix this. I cannot understand why the oncologist did not recognize that with Cecal cancer that has gone into lymphs, why there was not the open statement that it was also in the liver from the start. Many consults later, he is back to chemo. Since last year at this time, he has visited New York before Katrina. He saw our daughter Brittain perform in the opening night of the musical Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812. July 20th this year, he was present for his eldest daughter's wedding to an absolutely wonderful man. :) So... I continue to try to make sense of our lives and move forward with sorting the old stuff and letting go of stuff we do not need. I did not see our daughter perform in her musical.... I probably will never see New York... But at least I have the love that surrounds me. Blessed Be. December, 2012 Yule is coming/ then Christmas. My daughters are here, Brittain from Brooklyn. My son and his family could not come from CA. Money is too tight. My life is a bit challenging, but over the last 5 years, I gained love.... Someone showed me I was not dead and done. Someone who likes walking hand in hand, arm in arm.... in synch. Someone who talks as much as I do without missing a beat, but sharing thoughts, hearing thoughts. But.... life is complicated. I am trying very hard to focus on my spiritual balance. There is so much I must do before I leave this earthly plane. Many people do not recognize that they will not know and recognize when their time has come. So many unfinished tasks, but the greatest of all is the love we give and receive. October, 2012 My, how time flies.... and here I am. There are times that try the soul and this is a season of it for me. My husband has colon cancer - recently diagnosed. Then.... my best friend was diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma. Now I have two men to make sure get what they need and the encouragement to go through chemo and into remission. In the meantime, so many other parts of my life are falling apart. At least the house is not. The last two and a half years I have worked pulling out lathe and plaster, having the house repainted, repaired, new plumbing, new bathrooms.... So much to be done yet. And... the house has too much stuff in it from 37 years of living here. So.... My prayer is for my physical strength, good health, and positive mental well-being. December 2011 I am a licensed Notary in the State of Washington, and my 4 year license is up for renewal. It has been useful at times, but not exactly the drawing card I had hoped for in gaining a job, nor does it earn much money. But, I have been encouraged to re-up for another 4 years. End of November, 2011 It would be grand to find a job. The problem is I have not worked in so long, and the types of jobs I have done in the past are really not what fits me, let alone available. What does an artist do? I am great with making edible sculptures, cooking, putting together events, decorating artistically, turning phrases or writing poetry/ short stories.... Just do not know where to aim my energy, especially in this market. In the past, temp jobs were what I found. Those experiences were very lacking for many reasons..... November, 2011 I am learning to make cheese! It is a wonderful addition to my philosophy that home made is better. The first cheese was a Lebneh with chives, dill and grated lemon rind. It is hanging and dripping the whey now. The next will be Quark, a cheese know to date back to 3 BCE. Then I will make some marscapone. Thanksgiving is coming - I really don't want to make the dinner. Perhaps I will volunteer somewhere. October/November, 2011 Oh the joys of an old, 1926 home! The furnace finally died. It was 33 years old and probably deserved to be retired to the dump. Nearly a week of cold temps, a visit from a local plumbing/heating service confirmed that this really was the time to remove all the old duct work and furnace. It was a lot of work to move junk in the basement, clean things out, remove the old duct work. I was blessed with help from a blessed friend. Another friend is a heating specialist. I now have a new furnace and ductwork... Now to continue sorting through the flotsam and jetsom of 36 years. Oh, and my labor was part of all this, not anyone else in my family. September, 2011 The past summer has been filled with tasks - a replumb of my home due to an old pipe leaking, the electrical cleaned up, an updated bathroom with tiles I hand painted. All along was the struggle with my diabetic condition. The economy does not make it easy to see where I can gain employment, so I will spend time creating tiles and firing them. December 22, 2010 The Winter Solstice has just come and gone with the eclipse of the full moon. It has been a special time of sharing, of performing music, learning new things, and struggling with the demands of the holidaze. July 24, 2010 My tasks have been working on clearing bushes/trees around my home in preparation for painting the long neglected outside. Personalities surround this project are a challenge..... BTW, my nickname is Ani... a kinder, gentler moniker given to me years ago by a Tibetan Buddhist Lama who worked with me in the Asian Library at the U of W. He would laugh and say it meant 'nun' but not like westerners think of nun. My poetry and writing is posted: writerscafe dot org/ Sunnefalcon/ writing/ if you are interested. As my life evolved past 50, so did my spirituality. An 'expanded' understanding of the "Divine" has become central to my life as all connections in the universe seem to be connected to the Divine. As a child my parents were Southern Baptist/ Presbyterian. I became a Roman Catholic, at the age of 22, and no no longer am a practicing Catholic. One of my interests is about 'healing energy'. I have a second attunement in Usui Reiki and pray for the 'healing' of others or assistance which they need. Environmental issues are also of interest to me and I look forward to building a home that utilizes other forms of energy - solar, wind, methane. Yes, I am an 'old' hippy with a young heart, and I seek to help others along the way. June 28, 2010 Goodness, how a year flies by.... I have another lovely granddaughter, Josephine. I am writing a couple of novels.... Basically my life is transforming.... I am not sure to what exactly . June 12, 2009 Check out my new Zazzle account!!! It is listed under Awenglow. I lost my job last fall. In the meantime I am taking photos of bands, building a business plan, and cleaning closets/house of 34 years of stuff. Life is interesting with transitions now and in the future. I refuse to grow old sitting on the sofa, watching the much hyped HD TV. Oh... and if you really want to get to know me or renew the long ago connection, send me an email! Basically I think that most people do not even remember me. LOL May 1, 2009 It has been a wonderful birthday - and I am now 61. Recent updates in my life: I will soon be a grandmother again. Somehow, quite a few years ago, I thought one could join class lists of other high schools as a friend, family member or teacher (as I remember there were tabs for that). As I was looking for people I had known at Sammamish and a couple of other high schools, it seemed o.k. Perhaps the rules changed, for now it says students only. There have been a few people who have vigorously insisted that my presence on those lists was some sort of impropriety and a breach of some sort. Sorry to offend. But then perhaps some people are easily offended. At my age I would be so happy to connect with the few people who had been friends. Perhaps that is a lost cause. All I can say...Expand for more