Ashlee Sims:  

each out but ever did I fail to actually grasp onto this “hope” that everyone else seems to have. What do I like I ask myself again and again what is it that makes it so hard for me to be on the levels of others? Compassion? I doubt it for I do whatever I can to help others out. What else could be missing from me I wander. I’ve lived out in the world I’ve stared my very fears in the eyes and walked away with rekindled bravado. I can’t say I lack an ego ask anyone I’ve very self confident. Is it that I lack the ability to be decent, I’d say not less than any other I’ve done countless self less acts but still they fill me with nothing but emptiness. What do I need to get rid of this machine state of life I wander? I’ve tried going out being good friends throwing on the cheery face despite how agonizing the pain is inside. Is it that I am lonely? Again I doubt I have always been a creature that thrives alone. The more I seem to explore my own soul the more confused I truly am about it..perhaps it is because I feel a need to see logic in all of it. Logic which clearly has no strength in the world of emotions. But how does one go about feeling when despite how hard they try they are incapable of seeing the logic behind it? To me expressing how I feel to someone I care about is much trying to dodge rain in a hurricane. It is impossibly hard, it requires no less than the highest of faiths I suppose. But that leads to how can you have faith in what you don’t see. At the very least I can say i am trying and that is a hard task all in it’s own.".