Dana Albert:
CLASS OF 1987

Fairview High SchoolClass of 1987
Boulder, CO
Dana's Story
When I had only been a parent for a few days, and was terribly sleep-deprived and felt like I couldn't do anything right, I had a devil of a time assembling our Diaper Genie. (My friends would say this is my punishment for using disposable diapers to begin with, if I had any friends.) That damned Diaper Genie. I just could not get it to work. Finally, after what seemed like a really long time but was really only a couple of minutes, I became furious at it. It had no instructions, and didn¿t seem particularly intuitive. The ¿refill,¿ which seems like a stupid name for the bag cartridge that was really the very first one ever installed, had directions on it, but they become obscured in step 2 out of 5 because, after all, step 2 is to put it within the DG itself. I figured this thing had to be intuitive enough for the least educated, least intelligent trailer trash owner to use; why can¿t I, a college-educated Subject ...Expand for more
Matter Expert, get it to work?
Finally I beat the DG senseless with my fists and then hurled it down the stairs, much to the amazement and amusement of my wife and her friend, who¿d come over to cook us a meatloaf and help out. It ended up that the evil person who gave the DG to us had tried to pull a fast one. It was a used DG, the old obsolete version, which is why it had no instructions and no bag cartridge. The "friend" had bought a new cartridge and put it in the box. Of course, the new cartridge wasn't quite compatible with the old DG, which is what caused me so much heartache.
I guess that's what set the whole thing off ... the nightmare descent into booze and pills, the killing spree, the profanity-laced letters to my congressman. Funny thing is, I wouldn't really call this "hard time." It's not like I'm chained at the ankle and doing hard labor. I get plenty of peace and quiet here, and the food isn't bad.
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