James McClure:  

Life You remember me? I was the guy in home room who was always trying to get you to be impressed by how well I could draw Captain America and the Black Widow. I know, there was something creepy about a guy who spent so much pencil lead on sleek, imaginary women and male power fantasies. No wonder you forgot me; you subconsciously created mental blocks to rid yourself of the memory. After escaping the graduation ceremony at Millet Hall, where Tom Shoupe and Steve Otto convinced many of us to “give up our pocket change” to encourage Kevin Johnson to urinate in one of the ashtrays by promising “that this will be a story you’ll want to tell your grandkids about!”, I began full-time work at my then dead-end job (as opposed to my now dead-end job) as an office worker at a grocery store. Debauched evenings of disco and schnapps followed shamelessly for over a year. Discovering that I could neither dance NOR drink led me to seek a career in the Marine Corps, where they teach you to do both, just not very well. After enduring the after-effects of my recruiter’s tall tales for 4 years, I returned back to my home in Hamilton to fanfare worthy of returning your videos on-time (except no free video from the “classics” rack). My first thoughts turned to college, but my friends who were at college weren’t getting too much there, so somehow I ended up with a guitar in my hands, believing I’d get some that way (and I did!). Supporting myself with jobs that were the vocational equivalent of a two year-old jock strap, I pursued a recording/stage career as the next Bruce Springsteen. Unfortunately, Bruce wasn’t done yet so I had to settle for a role as the next Kurt Cobain, who was only 15 years old at the time. When he finally did become of age, Kurt decided he could do a better him than I could, so once again I lost out. By the time h...Expand for more